Sharing a poem written by, Sara Cheng, one of the students in my 1:54 Autism Spectrum Disorder Class, looking at the intersectionality of Autism with OCD.
I can so relate on many levels having both Autism + OCD + bunch of other things. Thank you Sara.
When you add ADHD into this mix of Autism + OCD, it complicates the issue even more. The autism part of me wants the comfort of sameness/routine but ADHD part craves novelty and easily gets bored with doing the same task. So I can get terribly frustrated and bored with my OCD behaviors, even as part of me is impulsively doing it perhaps to seek some form of comfort. For instance, I'm opening and closing the same cupboard doors, even as part of me is thinking, "How BORING is this?!!" Or I'm obsessed with the zip being closed on all backpacks around me, even if its the backpack of others around me, just itching to get up and close their backpacks, or noticing that lint on the dark colored jackets of others and just itching to pick those off - how boring is this = seriously, my mental energy could be better spent elsewhere.
(Full text of Sara's poem is at bottom of post, for screen reader accessibility).
This is what Sara has to say about her poem:
“ASD | OCD” is a creative poem I wrote about the intersectionality between Autism Spectrum and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I personally have OCD, but not autism, so I was interested to learn more about the experience of individuals with both.My poem describes the morning routines of a person with ASD and OCD. Both columns depict the same actions, but highlight differences in how the individual thinks about the actions, or why they perform the actions, based on the differences between ASD and OCD.I incorporated narratives from this Spectrum News article and videos from Daniel Jones, (The Aspie World on YouTube), who talks about his experience having autism and OCD. I also drew from my own experiences with OCD.- Sara Cheng, 1:15 Autism Spectrum Disorder Class, Spring 2022
Here is the full text of the poem for screen reader accessibility
ASD/OCD (by Sara Cheng) |
My life is structured by routine and repetition.
| My life is structured by routine and repetition. |
When I wake up in the morning I go to the bathroom, wash my hands, brush my teeth, and wash my face. Always in the same order. | When I wake up in the morning, I wash my hands, wash my hands, wash my hands, wash my hands, brush my teeth, and wash my face. Always in the same order.
|
The water has to run with the same pressure every time. That is the right pressure, and it makes me feel content. | The water has to run with the same pressure every time. That is the right pressure, and if it is not right, I will turn it off, turn it on, until it is right.
|
I put on a shirt and pants, ones sewn with French seams – the same kind I wore yesterday, the day before, and every day. I wear these clothes because regular seams are too itchy and uncomfortable.
| I put on a shirt and pants, ones sewn with French seams – the same kind I wore yesterday, the day before, and every day. |
I eat the same breakfast as I do every day. I like this texture and it doesn’t make me feel uneasy. | I eat the same breakfast as I do every day. I have to eat with my right hand, holding my fork at the same angle and between the same fingers, or else I can not take a bite.
|
Aside my girlfriend, I flick the fingers on my left hand. She knows that I stim to self soothe.
| Aside my girlfriend, I try to hide how many times I pick up and put down my fork. She knows about my OCD but I am embarrassed to show her sometimes.
|
I structure my day with routines because it makes me feel safe, comfortable and secure. | I structure my day with routines because I am afraid of what will happen if I don’t. That someone will get hurt if I don’t.
|
I like to talk about my autism with others, because I can relate to them, and they can relate to me. | I don’t like to talk about my OCD with others, because I don’t want to voice the feelings of guilt and stress around my obsessions and compulsions.
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Autism is a part of who I am. | OCD is a part of me I wish I didn’t have. |
