An Awesome Year

An Awesome Year

A sobering reality: I continue to have a ton of autism challenges and have not made much headway on those year after frustrating year much to my sorrow. They do consume a good part of my day; almost 95% of my life. I do wish that we as a society find solutions to those - both on the non-medical and medical front. However I also want to focus on the positives in this post because those give meaning for me to keep going even as I hope and search for solutions on other fronts. So here's the 5% awesome part even as they are tempered by the other 95%.

Awesome 2022

2022 was an awesome year.
An awesome year it was.
Like the tortoise (in Hare & Tortoise), I took slow strides.
Each autistic step - a belief in the Possibility of Me.
#redefine_the_table, #Hari_as_possibility
From Possibility comes Opportunity

Meeting the President and the Vice-President

2022 was the year I got to go to DC. Twice.
First time to meet with VP Kamala Harris at the Naval Observatory.
A second time I went to the White House where I got to shake President Biden's hand.
What an incredible incredible honor.

Who could have imagined stuff like this for me.

Getting an invite to the White House.

Meeting the President of the US

Just how awesome is that!!

I graduate from UC Berkeley

I'm a college graduate in year 2022. It feels so good. This was a kid that was not even expected to get a high school diploma. My lot was to be in special education and not aspire for much more. Education was the candy in the candy store with me firmly told to be outside.


This was a degree ++ with dollops of unexpected extra bonuses. I absolutely am relishing it.

How awesome is this?

I am just so darn proud of that yearned for degree

Young man, you must be doing some stuff right.

Cuz. along with degree there was even more

Additional appreciation in the most unexpected forms.

University Medal Finalist, I sit on Commencement stage with Chancellor & a Nobel Laureate

Departmental Citation, I give the Department Commencement Speech

Highest Distinction (other universities call this Summa Cum Laude)

Phi Beta Kappa, Psi Chi and 4.0 GPA

Awesome icing on a Berkeley degree

Undergraduate Research

As a Haas Scholar I not only got funding and mentoring for a year long research but I got to be part of a sagacious community, amongst aspiring change makers in myriad fields. The research was so varied and interesting and I listened in awe as students presented on topics from illegal trash dumping in Oakland to Prison Reform to circular RNA and the spread of dengue virus.

A special shout out to Leah Carroll who runs and is the glue that holds the Haas Scholars program together. She kept us to timelines and managed resources to help us get our resource done. And there was a lot of resource management logistics involved, like getting those participant gift cards out through Bear Buy.

I presented my research at 2 Academic Colloquia (Jan & April), and a SPSS (Society for Personality and Social Psychology) Poster Presentation in Feb. And I continue to work with Prof Keltner to get 2 papers (on awe and empathy) to publication.

I had a wonderful an encouraging mentor for my research in Prof Dacher Keltner.

How awesome is it...

...to research awe in autistics

....be mentored by an expert in the science of awe. 

Just how awesome is that?

Senior Honors Thesis

This research was also part of my Senior Honors Thesis. Every week I sat with my fellow students in the Honors class lead by Prof Linda Wilbrecht. I learned about what my fellow psychology students researched. I was surrounded by fellow researchers both within and outside the field of psychology.

I submitted my thesis on awe to the department in April - all 66 pages of it.

This was a faculty comment about my thesis

- This is truly an excellent honors thesis! The research topic is incredibly important and interesting, and it is unique to probe the autistic experience of awe in comparison with that of neurotypical individuals. The results are very cool, interesting, and complex. Although this is brand new research and more empirical data are needed, the preliminary results, which argue against the emotion deficit view of autistic individuals, are potentially groundbreaking. I hope you will pursue this work further and I hope we will see the work published in a psychology journal in the near future.

How awesome is that?

I think back to when early educators did not want me in their classrooms and every evaluation report and IEPs were a litany of my "lack of accomplishments," or "lack of progress." In fact during my first special ed kindergarten placement, the teacher sent home a note which essentially said that she was concerned at my lack of progress in the first 6 weeks in her classroom. This was to be a repeated story in the all the multiple special ed classrooms I was shuffled around in. 

Think, just how awesome it is for me now, to get comments from educators that rate me as excellent. I'm so so relishing it. 

Autism Decal

Spring semester was my 7th and final semester of Autism Decal. Creation of this impactful class at Berkeley is one of my proudest accomplishments during my undergrad. Just how awesome is it to hear that material from this class was influencing a grad student in Europe in her research. A class that grew from 17 to 50. It even was honored with mention on a US President (President Obama's) Instagram. Just too Awesome. 

The Daily Californian

I wrote my last column for the Daily Cal and waxed nostalgic (understandably).

What a wonderful experience Berkeley has been for me. It was my Golden Bear Song.

PD Soros Fellowship.

I got the call on Jan 7 from Daisy Soros - I'm a PD Soros Fellow. This is a very prestigious fellowship and the chances of getting in were slim. So to get through was rather surreal. 
The news was only to be released in April when 30 scholars graced a full page of the New York Times.

The fellows met at a 4 day conference extravaganza in New York in October.
Daisy Soros sure is a powerhouse at 94 - I am in awe!!
We fellows chatted, met with famous alum, toured New York and more - the Met, a Broadway musical, a Jazz club and a formal cocktail hosted by Daisy Soros. The conference sure was a lifetime experience and what an amazing cohort to be in.

Getting into Grad School

I'd applied to grad school last fall.

Results in early spring.

Decision deadline Apr 15.

Headed to Vanderbilt for a PhD in Neuroscience in Fall.

Can you believe this guy from grade 8 special ed now actually headed to grad school?

Media Coverage

There was a ton of media coverage around the PD Soros fellowship, my Berkeley graduation and Vanderbilt grad school admission.

I got multiple mentions in various UC Berkeley sites. Daily Cal covered me (a turnaround as I usually write the articles). I even made it to an article in Forbes. There was coverage in many Indian American newspapers and at Vanderbilt too.

All the coverage felt a little overwhelming yet I am totally grateful for all this acknowledgment of my accomplishments. (It helps counter the years and years of trauma build up with the reports of, will never amount to anything, claims)

From California to Tennessee. 

Grad School has meant a move across the country from Berkeley CA to Nashville TN.
It is a new place to adjust too! Transition and autism are not the best of bedfellows. 

I miss the extracurriculars and friends back home. I miss the view of the Bay and Golden Gate Bridge from my California bedroom window. 

It's pretty hot here in summer, a little too hot. But it's also green and lush with lots of rain. The grass is green even in winter due to the rain. Rain-starved California sure could use some of this rain (just not this week as I hear there are Bay Area mudslides due to heavy rains!!). 

I'm not missing the annual wildfire smoke of California. One year the sky turned orange from the smoke and the entire town of Paradise was burnt down. And looks like I narrowly missed some recent big earthquakes in the Bay Area. 

But there are other natural disasters to content with here - like my first tornado spent anxiously in the basement. What if you are traveling on an open road?

Winter is wet and cold with some snow. I'm not so sure I like this level of cold. I experienced my first snow and was housebound for 4-5 days over the winter break till the slick black ice on roads melted away. Being housebound for even a few days was a little scary but of course it's nothing compared to the plight of folks caught in the Buffalo snow blizzard.

Nature is lovely here - a walk in the nearby Percy-Warner park under the shade of the massive trees reminded me of the tall redwoods in Yosemite. The best part is the daily wildlife show. People travel to see such shows. Turkey and deer grace my backyard, with the occasional fox. I watched baby deer frolic around and grow into adults. Myriad birds perch and practice birdsong on the woody vines that hangs from the tall trees. Wildlife with a backdrop of tall lush trees in summer, changing leaf colors in fall and the snow clad barren trees of winter are awesome sights to see.

Nashville is Music City and I hope to get to experience some of that music soon.....

Grad School @Vanderbilt from Fall 

• Grad School orientation
• A Lab Coat Ceremony with my own Personalized Lab Coat
• A Neuroscience Retreat
• Lab Rotation at SENSE (Social Emotional Neuroscience Endocrinology) Lab
• Participate in the SENSE Theatre workshop. 
• An own office space at the research lab with my name on the door. 
• NISE Fellow at the Frist Center for Autism and Innovation at Vanderbilt.
• Did well on the academic front (Synesthesia, Multisensory Integration)

 
Survived first semester.....

A huge change, transitions that quite make the head spin.
Still adjusting, lots of figuring out left to do... a work in progress the next few years.
Fingers crossed that my unpredictable autism challenges let me travel this journey well.
And make useful contributions along the way.


But really, just how awesome has this year been?

Vacations

Got to visit Italy; Florence and Venice & Tuscany countryside over Spring Break. 

India over the summer for my cousin Ved's Poonal ceremony

Memphis over Thanksgiving break. 

And the 2 DC Trips and the NY Trip. 

Hope for an (equally) awesome 2023

I wonder what 2023 will bring?
In the Possibility of Me?

Dare I hope from others
....Surrounded by folks who are patient, encouraging & empathic of my disability
... Make kind friends outside the classroom


Slow purposeful strides, an elephant I want to be.
... Relish learning and knowledge coupled with endless curiosity
... Use Advocacy & Research to add more pebbles that widen ripples in the pond of change.
... Giant leaps on the journey to emotional equanimity (mood continues to be tough nut)
... Learn to better manage & cope with the vagaries of my unpredictable disability which can feel like a leaky boat. 

Wishing everyone an 

AWESOME 2023 full of POSSIBILITY

ADA 32 at the White House

Me shaking hands with the President

It's an honor to get invited to the White House and get to shake hands with the President of the United States, more so for 32nd anniversary of the Americans with Disabilities Act.

I am of the post-ADA generation, born after ADA was passed in 1990. Undoubtedly, it is laws like ADA that the allow the doors of opportunity to open to the possibility of me, and in President's Biden's words, "to work, to study, to make connections."  

It is a reason I can, with some measure of confidence, say - So what if I am significantly disabled, I too can pursue a PhD. I too can aspire to higher education, to employment (that's next), to inclusion, and aspire to go toe to toe with my non disabled peers. Perchance, I too can change the world. 

It is because of laws like ADA that Lady Liberty turns her torch towards folks like me, so we too get the opportunity to pursue our version of the American Dream.

I am extremely grateful and in deep admiration of all stalwarts who laid groundwork that folks in my generation and beyond can now build on. In her speech, First Lady, Dr Jill Biden, spoke of 8 year old Jennifer Keelan who cast aside her wheelchair and crawled up the steps of the Capitol Hill in March 1990; "acts of protest," (widely televised) which spurred the signing of the law in July 1990. The then Senator Joe Biden has been a co-sponsor of the bill, sponsored by Sen Harkin and signed into law by President George HW Bush.

Thank you, thank you, to all those tireless stalwarts, (including living legends like my hero, Judy Heumann), in Dr Biden's words, for "refusing to be silent about indignities... faced" and for "holding on to the hope of a better way."

Thank you Mr President for acknowledging this momentous occasion for all of us disabled folks and being part if its journey right from inception. 

In his speech at the Rose Garden of the White House, President Biden referred to the ADA as "one of the most important civil rights laws ever," as he recalled the words of Justin Dart Jr. (regarded as the godfather of ADA) - "ADA is only the beginning, its not the solution, Its the center foundation on which solutions will be constructed." 

Indeed, ADA is a starting point that was crafted 32 years ago and it is up to our generation to continually shape it to meet the changing needs of today and tomorrow. 

I feel, the fact of ADA being a work in progress needs to be highlighted, as it seems especially relevant to the wide diversity in autism, which means building in flexibility and open-mindedness, as there is not going to be a clear one-solution-fits-all. 

“For our country, the ADA is a testament to the character of our people, to the country... It’s proof we can work together and keep moving closer to realizing the promise of America for all Americans,” Biden said.

(President's full remarks, fact sheet)  

We have to continue to look for solutions and workarounds on many many fronts; this is a humankind issue. There is a reason for the word "kind" in the word humankind; "kind-ness" is a fundamental but oft forgotten character trait of people, that has carried us through the troubling periods of human history from time immemorial. 

I want to believe Charles Darwin’s take on the human species as one of “survival of the kindest,” and not just “survival of the fittest.” I want to believe our human society has great capacity for goodness and compassion for all its members.

My generation has to carry this torch forward and demand not just a seat at the table of solutions, but perhaps redefine the table itself, and not just in this country but worldwide for humankind. 

Blind jazz pianist, Jose Andre Montano, prior to his mesmerizing performance that day, gave some very good and practical advice which was very relevant to our mental health - "life is more wonderful if you love your differences and you love who you are... [otherwise] life would not make sense." We often forget the toll of mental health that accompanies the fact of disability as we are constantly in this race to catch up or meet the ever moving target of what society considers acceptable.

On a personal note, too thrilling to get invited to the White House and get to shake hands with the President. The White House is truly magnificent both inside and out. And to be where such laws were signed.... In total awe.