EQUANIMITY

Towards a more Humane Society.  Contemplating  one line each day. #MentalHealth. This month is EQUANIMITY 

Equanimity

-Hari Srinivasan

Equanimity is the calm at the center of the storm.

Equanimity is the balance that allows us to move forward.

Equanimity is the anchor that keeps us grounded.

Equanimity is the serenity that comes from within.

Equanimity is the clarity that helps us see things as they are.

Equanimity is the inner strength that allows us to face life's challenges.

Equanimity is the acceptance that all things pass in due time.

Equanimity is the non-judgmental awareness of our thoughts and emotions.

Equanimity is the gentle acceptance of ourselves and others.

Equanimity is the ability to maintain our inner peace in the face of adversity.

Equanimity is the steady hand that guides us through life's ups and downs.

Equanimity is the stillness that allows us to listen to our hearts.

Equanimity is the wisdom that sees through the illusion of our fears.

Equanimity is the patience to wait for the right moment.

Equanimity is the trust that life will unfold as it should.

Equanimity is the surrender to what is and what we cannot change.

Equanimity is the gratitude for all that life has to offer.

Equanimity is the self-awareness that allows us to grow and learn.

Equanimity is the forgiveness that frees us from the past.

Equanimity is the openness to new experiences and perspectives.

Equanimity is the presence of mind that allows us to live in the moment.

Equanimity is the inner peace that radiates outwards.

Equanimity is the self-love that allows us to love others.

Equanimity is the self-compassion that allows us to heal our wounds.

Equanimity is the stillness that allows us to find our inner voice.

See posts for other months. 

Jan [JOY] Feb [EQUANIMITY] March [EMPATHY] April [KINDNESS]

Atmospheric Rivers

 https://youtu.be/cdhEwAZP-gI

An explanation of the crazy weather pattern this winter in California

Delta Notch Numb: Neurogenesis Society

A humorous science skit. 

Delta Notch Numb: Neurogenesis Society

Delta: Hey guys, have you ever wondered why we have such unusual names? I mean, put together, we sound like a Notched-up college Greek Society; a bunch of undergrads that go totally Numb after an exhausting Rush.

Constant Overload

Being bombarded by the sensory system

A constant overload, it never ends
Sensory overwhelmed, a feeling of prison
Trapped in my own mind, with no friends.

Poor somatosensory body mapping
A constant confusion, a foggy haze
I struggle to understand my own body
A feeling of being lost, in a daze

Words get stuck, inside my head
Apraxic, struggles to speak
A feeling of frustration, so very unique
As talking eludes me, instead

It can be a struggle, to navigate
This world that's full of sensation

I need to find a way
… with determination

Equanimity is the self-love that allows us to love others

Towards a more humane society. #MentalHealth. Contemplation, one line a day.

 

Chilling on a houseboat

 

This is where I would like to be today on my birthday. 

Chilling on a houseboat in the Kerala backwaters

(photo taken a few years back)

Chilling on a houseboat in Kerala's backwaters
Coconut trees sway along the shore
The sun dips low, painting the sky with colors
A serene moment, that I'll forever adore.

A moment of peace

Two deer in my yard

Wandering from woods at the back 

Gentle, graceful steps 

Moment of peace, nature's gift

The gentle creatures graze

Unfazed by noise and haste

Their presence brings me ease

In this tranquil, natural space.

And Thank You to everyone who sent me wishes today (Feb 22) - for taking that one breath and one moment to send "happy" positive vibes my way, on my birthday.

Equanimity is the inner peace that radiates outwards

Towards a more humane society. #MentalHealth. Contemplation, one line a day.

 

Hints of green

On brown trees, hints of green 

A herald of spring
Softly appears, shy and demure,
A promise of new life, fresh and pure

The brain is a Giant Prediction Machine

Poem follows Prof Mark Wallace's comment in class "The Brain is a giant prediction machine" after a discussion on the growing popularity of Bayesian Statistical Models in research. 

The brain is a giant prediction machine

Bayesian model-like, it constantly schemes

Past experiences and memories in its grasp

Current sensory input, processed in a flash.

 

A bundle of irrational worry

I am a bundle of irrational worry
Each day i wake up with dread and hurry
Fears and doubts consume, a constant flurry
Hope still flickers in internal jury

STAT: Screening Tool for Autism in Toddlers and Young Children

The Screening Tool for Autism in Toddlers and Young Children (STAT) is a play-based screening measure designed to identify early signs of autism  in toddlers and young children. It t assesses social communication and play behaviors associated with ASD in children between 24 and 36 months of age.

Limitations

The STAT is a screening tool and not a diagnostic instrument. A comprehensive evaluation by a qualified professional is necessary for a definitive autism diagnosis.

Scoring and Interpretation
The STAT includes a series of play-based activities and social interactions between the child and the examiner. The examiner observes and scores the child's behaviors in different domains, such as joint attention, pretend play, and social responsiveness.

The STAT scoring involves rating specific behaviors observed during the play-based interactions. The scoring criteria may vary depending on the specific version or adaptation of the STAT being used. There are established cutoff scores that help identify children who may be at risk for ASD and require further evaluation by a qualified professional.

History and Revisions:
The STAT was developed by Wendy Stone, Barry L. Prizant, and Samuel P. Openden in 2008. 

Citation:
Stone, W. L., Prizant, B. M., & Openden, S. (2008). The Screening Tool for Autism in Toddlers and Young Children (STAT). Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/228625486_STAT_Screening_Tool_for_Autism_in_Toddlers_and_Young_Children

See posts on Screening/Diagnostic Measures

SCQ - Social Communication Questionnaire

The Social Communication Questionnaire (SCQ) is a caregiver-reported questionnaire that evaluates social communication and interaction patterns in individuals suspected of being autistic. It was derived from the Autism Diagnostic Interview-Revised (ADI-R). It is designed for use with children and adults who have a mental age [see post on why "mental age" is problematic] of at least 2 years and 6 months. It is often used as a screening tool in clinical and research settings. [See posts on other Screening/Diagnostic Measures].

Limitations:

• The SCQ is a screening tool and should not be used as a standalone diagnostic instrument. A comprehensive evaluation by a trained clinician using multiple assessment methods is necessary for a formal autism diagnosis.
• Co-occurring Conditions: Many individuals with ASD may have co-occurring conditions such as intellectual disabilities, language impairments, ADHD, anxiety, or sensory processing difficulties. The SCQ focuses specifically on social communication and interaction and may not fully capture the range of challenges associated with co-occurring conditions such as language challenges, ADHD, anxiety or sensory processing.
• Caregiver reports are subject to biases and inaccuracies, as they rely on the caregiver's observations and interpretations of the individual's behaviors.
• Caregivers' ability to accurately report on specific social communication behaviors and experiences of nonspeaking autistics may be limited.
• The SCQ is not designed to assess other developmental disabilities apart from ASD.

Feb 17 is Random Act of Kindness Day

 Saw this on Canva. Did not know that there was a day. But a good thought nonetheless. 

Loneliness

The room is empty

Loneliness creeps in slowly
Empty walls surround

Silence echoes all around

Pollina et al. 2023 DNA Repair

The paper describes a new method called sBLISS-seq for identifying DNA damage sites in cells. The authors used this method to study the role of a protein called Ep400 in repairing DNA damage.

The paper suggests that the link between neuronal activity and DNA repair mediated by NPAS4-NuA4 may be relevant to NDD like autism. This is because damage at activity-dependent regulatory elements may be a source of neuronal dysfunction in these disabilities.

Key Takeaways & Contributions.

- Discovery of a specialized chromatin regulatory mechanism in the brain that couples synaptic activity to genome preservation. 

- Identification of a link between neuronal activity and DNA repair mediated by NPAS4-NuA4, which suggests that damage at activity-dependent regulatory elements may be a source of neuronal dysfunction in NDD and autism . 

- Potential role of NPAS4-NuA4 in sustaining neuronal vitality over time and contributing to cellular and organismal longevity. 

- Development of a new method called sBLISS-seq for identifying DNA damage sites in cells

Methods

• The development of a new method called sBLISS-seq for identifying DNA damage sites in cells. 
• The use of 
• chromatin immunoprecipitation (ChIP) to study the binding of proteins to DNA. 
• CRISPR-Cas9 genome editing to create knockout cell lines. 
• RNA sequencing (RNA-seq) to study gene expression. 
• immunofluorescence to study protein localization in cells. 
• comet assays to measure DNA damage.

Questions raised

• What is the full extent of the role of NPAS4-NuA4 in sustaining neuronal vitality over time and contributing to cellular and organismal longevity? 
• How does the link between neuronal activity and DNA repair mediated by NPAS4
• NuA4 contribute to NDD & autism, and can this mechanism be targeted for therapeutic purposes?  
• What other proteins and pathways are involved in the regulation of DNA repair in response to neuronal activity, and how do they interact with NPAS4-NuA4? 
• How can the sBLISS-seq method be further optimized and applied to other cell types and experimental conditions? 
• Findings implications in understanding relationship between neuronal activity and genome preservation in the brain?

Haikus for the love of spring

  Its feb 14 and spring is upon us. I see flowers bloom on my neighbor's tree. 

In the midst of bloom, 

Petals entwine, a sweet embrace, 

Love's essence inhaled.

TBI Regressive Autism

Ameliorating Hemianopia with Multisensory Training (Rowland et al., 2023)

Quick Summary of paper . An  visual-auditory stimulation therapy was used on two older males  who has loss of vision in the left hemifield (hemianopia). The cause was brain trauma (TBI) rather than lesion.  Prior to joining the study both had been referred to PT and OT as rehabilitation measures. 

• 64 year old JM joined the study 14 months after stroke  (2 infracts)
• 74 year old CW joined the study ~18 months after 1 infract (better sighted field compared to JM). 
• Therapy took place over 8 months /10 sessions 

The results were dramatic. Both patients recovered the ability to detect and describe visual stimuli throughout their formerly blind field within a few weeks. They could also localize these stimuli, identify some features, and perceive multiple visuals simultaneously in both fields. (more detail on paper here link)

Relating all this back to Autism

So impressive about being able to restore sight in a matter of 8 months, given therapy was started 14-18 months after infract and not immediately and it was in older adults. 

Why is regressive autism not thought to be TBI at 18 mo, where there is a sudden loss of learned skills. 

• If TBI --> can those lost skills not be regained through targeted therapy. If you can restore skills in 60-70 yr old, should be able to, in a younger more plastic brain. 
• If TBI -->  is this related to CW & JM having practice with vision for 60-70+ years vs toddlers who only have practice with the skills for 18 mo.

Rethink Traditional Therapies

• CW & JM  had PT/OT for 14-18 mo before joining study; implication these therapies not that useful for regaining lost skills. 
• Autistics kids are in insane amounts of therapy (childhood stuffed with ABA/speech/OT every waking hr with little advances to show for it other than the $$$ spent and lots of career advancement for therapists). 
•  Maybe we need rethink early childhood therapy to be more targeted to restore lost skills. Even regaining that level of lost skills improves quality of life, let alone moving beyond.

One big vagary

Vagaries ubiquitous in autism.
Nothing standard, fractured light in a prism.
Can we conclude then, so far…..
… no evidence in any evidence really
….no clues. What’s going on in this gallery.
inexplicable me. I continue to be one big vagary.

Cellular neuroscience is tough.

Cellular neuroscience  is tough. 

=====

I'm like a library book, overdue
My brain's so full, it's about to bust in two
I feel like I'm stuck in a never-ending test
Studying so much, I'm starting to feel depressed!
Will it bring success to my quest?



This was the response from my friend in my neuroscience cohort. Thank you for the encouragement and empathy. 

Will it bring success to my quest?
Simply stated, my answer is yes

Battling through the constant stress, through days, months, years of duress
Though now life may seem like a mess, the quest is not to be the best,
Prioritize self-care, remember to rest

Is it worth it, when all I see, are cloudy skies up over me?
Yes I say, the world will see, what's possible with a degree,
The journey to a PhD is sprinkled serendipity,
But even more importantly, be free to show YOU empathy!

Hari,
Above all you are my friend, one that will be there 'til the end,
Remember I am here for you, day in, day out, through and through.

Equanimity is the steady hand that guides us through life's ups and downs

Towards a more humane society. #MentalHealth. Contemplation, one line a day.

 

The Neurotransmitter Showdown: GABA v Glutamate in the Courtroom.

The Neurotransmitter Showdown: GABA v Glutamate in the Courtroom.

GABA: Good day, Glutamate. How do you plead today?

Glutamate: Not guilty Your Honor. My actions were justified.

GABA: Oh, please. You know that you always overexcite the receptors and cause chaos in the brain.

Glutamate: That's simply untrue. I only activate the NMDA, AMPA, and kainate receptors as needed.

GABA: Needed? 

Your excessive activation of those receptors leads to seizures and neurotoxicity and not to mention hyperactivity, mood swings, social communication challenges, and sensory dysfunction in autistics. 

You are totally implicated in the Excitatory-Inhibition Imbalance theory in autism.

Hari: You Said It, GABA!! Tell it like it is. 

Judge (pounding table with mallet): Order in the court! The audience is not allowed to speak. 

Hari: Your Honor, I was not speaking out loud. It was all in my mind. 

Judge: But we are in your mind so everyone here can hear you. 

Hari: Oh, Ok. Then I'll go off and take a nap. 

Judge. Thank you Hari. 

(Pounding with mallet) Order! Order!I call order in the courtroom!

27 Genetic Variants Linked to ADHD

 https://neurosciencenews.com/genetics-adhd-22476/

"imbalance in dopamine in the brains of people with ADHD is partly attributable to genetic risk factors"

"7,300 common genetic variants that increase the risk of ADHD. It is particularly interesting that the vast majority of these variants—84-98 percent—also have an influence on other mental disorders, e.g. autism, depression and schizophrenia"

Serenity is the harmony that comes with being in balance.

Equanimity is the ability to maintain our inner peace in the face of adversity

Towards a more humane society. #MentalHealth. Contemplation, one line a day.

 

Informal Removals

This is so deja vu for me. 

Never mind even the struggles involved in getting access to general ed classrooms, 

even special education classrooms only want the Good Patients. 

=================

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/02/09/us/students-disabilities-informal-removal.html?fbclid=IwAR36fyuIXrWPV7QZMxdeHt_HPxYJy9___BwxYS0k7YIEKBarCdHdrxEAW4U


"During her son’s elementary years, Ms. LaVigne was called almost daily to pick him up hours early because he was having “a bad day.” By middle school, he was only attending an hour a day..."

"...tactic that schools... use to remove challenging students with disabilities from class. The removals — which can include repeated dismissals in the middle of the day or shortening students’ education to a few hours a week."

"In a report last year, the National Disability Rights Network, a national nonprofit established by Congress more than four decades ago, found informal removals occurring hundreds and perhaps thousands of times per year as “off-the-book suspensions.” The report said the removals also included “transfers to nowhere,” when students are involuntarily sent to programs that do not exist."

"The removals largely escape scrutiny because schools are not required to report them in the same manner as formal suspensions and expulsions, making them difficult to track and their impact hard to measure."

"continuation of the practice sends a terrible message to students and to school communities about which students deserve an education.”

Cellular Neuroscience

Last semester was systems neuroscience, this semester is cellular neuroscience. 

What's interesting is the way the course is organized. It's very different from what I'm used to. Every week we get a different professor teaching the class on a different topic followed by a Friday quiz on that topic. Of course the other parts are there like a midterm, final and a class presentation. While the class feels a bit disjointed with a new professor this week (autism & change are not the best of bedfellows), its also kinda cool to be taught a topic by a someone researching that area specifically. They know the topic absolutely inside out. But the quizzes are tough!!

Wk 5: Synaptic Plasticity with Prof Roger Colbran (Molecular Physiology and Biophysics)

Wk4:  Voltage Gated Ion Channels and Presynaptic Calcium Channels. If last week was glutamate receptors, this week its GABA receptors with Prof David Jacobson (Molecular Physiology & Biophysics). 

Wk2-3 Presynaptic & Postsynaptic specialization: Prof Ege Kavalali (Pharmacology) and Prof Teru Nakagawa (Molecular Physiology and Biophysics)

Wk1:  Electrophysiology : This week was Bioelectricity of Neurons with Jerod Denton (Anesthesiology). After all, electrophysiology forms the basis of how the nervous system works, it determines how we interact with our environment, how we process that information in the nervous system and how we respond (hopefully appropriately?). And I loved how he said we should be so comfortable with it that we can strike up a casual conversation on the topic at the next VBI (Vanderbilt Brain Institute) meet. 

A lot of material is covered in each class. Interesting, a maze and tough all at once. 

Some poems being inspired by the neuroscience I'm learning. 

Woody Vine Dance

Woody Vine Dance

Gale tosses the woody vines of tall trees.

Strong wind and rustling leaves.

Nature roars, unrelenting crescendo 

Rustic music and Woody Vine dance.

Equanimity is the gentle acceptance of ourselves and others

Towards a more humane society. #MentalHealth. Contemplation, one line a day.

 

Fidget Stim Toys and Autism

Many autistics have sensory processing difficulties and may be hyper- or hypo-sensitive to environmental stimuli. 

Fidget stim toys (eg: stress balls or fidget spinners) have been associated with autism.

Do Fidget toys help ALL autistics? The answer may surprise you.

Equanimity is the non-judgmental awareness of our thoughts and emotions

Towards a more humane society. #MentalHealth. Contemplation, one line a day.

 

16 of 118

 16 of the 118 elements. Go Bears!! I have the Berkelium t-shirt. 

I laughed when i saw the last hashtag. Cal and Stanford have this friendly rivalry going on which is most evident at Big Game (annual football game). Like a former therapist (had been a student at Stanford when working with me), was overjoyed that I got into Cal, with the caveat of "except during Big Game."

Seatbelt? What is that

Seatbelts? What is that. 

This is the way to ride to school. Students in school uniform on the back of an auto. Carefree joy!! 

Photo taken during a 2018 India trip in North India. 

Equanimity is the acceptance that all things pass in due time

Towards a more humane society. #MentalHealth. Contemplation, one line a day.

 

Disheartened

I feel disheartened today
Can the sun's rays chase the gray?
Grad School challenges run deep.
Disability already a minefield

How do I handle this?

Equanimity is the inner strength that allows us to face life's challenges

Towards a more humane society. #MentalHealth. Contemplation, one line a day.

 

Equanimity is the clarity that helps us see things as they are.

Towards a more humane society. #MentalHealth. Contemplation, one line a day.

 

Twinkling Tree Canopy

Glass trees sweat in the winter sun

Refraction bends with ice melts.

Twinkling treetops in a blue sky

Canopy of stars in the daytime light.

The photo does not capture it but the tops of the trees were twinkling as the melting frost was refracted by the sunlight. It was like seeing stars in daytime. 

Research and the Testable Autistic

A fundamental issue in autism research is that again and again we are testing only a narrow band of "testable autistics." 

Essentially past and current research on Autism is oversampling the same ~30% of autistics, the testable autistics. Then we assume the results apply to all, when they do no. 

I was in a research stakeholder meeting last week where another autistic talked about the variety of different research studies she had participated in over the years. 

I was thinking of how many autism research studies where I've been a participant - it was ZERO, literally!! It was not that I did not want to, I was always in the exclusion criteria zone even in autism research. 

Growing up, I used to hear about what autistics are supposed to be thinking/doing, all based on the hundreds of studies that had already been done. And the thought was -  the results don't reflect me. Do I have the wrong dx?

We badly need to RETHINK RESEARCH METHODOLOGY along with new NEW TECHNOLOGY , so that we can expand this ZONE OF TESTABLE AUTISTICS so it's more representative of even those with high support needs like me. 

We can expand the range of testable autistics only if we use methods that don’t need fluent oral communication or fluent motor manipulation or expect a person to sit absolutely still. 

We need every neurodiverse/neurotypical mind thinking about this!!

So, what kind of methods can we use to extend the range of testable autistics.

We need to find answers and solutions for all autistics. THIS IS URGENT. 

Kindness is the language that everyone can understand

Equanimity is the serenity that comes from within

Towards a more humane society. #MentalHealth. Contemplation, one line a day.

 

Winter Thaw

Golden sun swathes the trees
Winter thaw, nature awakes
Twittering birds in flights of awe
Dancing from tree to tree to tree


I woke upto sunshine today though the temperature is still in the 30s. My window view continues to be provide awe for me.

Joy is the light that shine within us

 

Contemplation, one line a day #Mental Health

Equanimity is the anchor that keeps us grounded

Towards a more humane society. #MentalHealth. Contemplation, one line a day.

 

Hoarfrost and Icicles

glazed ice drape the leafless trees
ice sculptures of neural dendrites
...glistening at 27 degrees

white latticed cobwebs cover the brush.
fine needle crystals, it's hoarfrost.
water vapor turned solid, sublimation.
icicles drip by my windowsill
add to the morning chill

Comorbidity of ADHD puts you at higher risk for Mental Health

This article on ADHD talks about research from Bath University in the UK. 

Essentially it says

• Mental health risk higher in ADHD alone > Mental Health risk in Autism alone
• The risk is higher when there are co-morbidities (ie: Autism+ADHD)

Research confirms what many us have already felt and known about comorbidity of Autism+ADHD. The net effect is not a simple sum, but exponential. 

What makes me sad is for the most part stimulant meds seem to work ADHD like they are supposed to. But when it comes to autism+ADHD, the same meds are still a wild guess and most don't work in autism like they do in the non-autism population with paradoxical effects.

 

Optimism is the lens that allows us to see the world through the eyes of possibility.

Equanimity is the balance that allows us to move forward

Towards a more humane society. #MentalHealth. Contemplation, one line a day.

 

Black Ice

Thin and clear, hard to see,
Black ice makes roads slippery.
Silent and unseen, it lies ahead,
A slippery trap, ready to paralyze one dead


Zoom classes on schedule today

Postsynaptic receptors will rule the day. 
But no commute is relief!

Moments like Fleet

 Its already month 2 of 2023. Time does rush past. 

Months speed by, moments like fleet

Leaving memories, both sweet and beat. 

Where have the days gone, oh so fast

Never to return, from the past.

Hold tight, each moment's just right

Be supported to joy, day and night. 

Time waits for no one, it's true

Our lives are worth living, cherish it anew

Multilingual and Autism

Multilingual and Autism

Therapists often tell families to only speak English so as to not confuse the autistic child. I think that's not a good idea as it results in a loss of cultural identity. During my elementary years there was so much time spent on teaching me St Patrick's day (what relevance do green men and rainbows have for me) instead of say Diwali (more relevant to me). Many of us have extended family who only speak their native tongue. Life exists outside of the special education classroom and therapy. 

Autism loves to get stuck on sameness, so you may be inadvertently encouraging that very thing. For instance, in my early years - I used to watch Thomas the Tank engine pretty obsessively. I would avoid the Ringo Starr narrated version but loved the George Carlin version - the Brit accent felt like an alien foreign language. 

It's good to also be exposed to different accents associated with the different languages for another important reason. We will be be surrounded by caregivers/educators with diff accents. No one thinks about this aspect. 

I had a class aide in elementary who's accent I never understood. It was not due to cognition on my part, how could I respond if I have not understood the question/instruction which as far as I was concerned was in an alien language.  Sometimes I would try to watch her lips, trying to synchronize the visual of her lip movements with the audio I was hearing - it was a lot to process and it was often easiest to give up and engage in stimming behaviors (comforting) instead. Rather ironical as she was supposed to be teaching me. No one thinks about this aspect. 

Anyway, I did get over the Ringo Starr thing eventually. Interestingly, the accent thing is not so striking in singing. I love Beatles music (simple lyrics that you can actually get your mouth around) and i did not realize Adele was Brit till i saw her talk at an awards ceremony.

Equanimity is the calm at the center of the storm

Towards a more humane society. #MentalHealth. Contemplation, one line a day.