Neurotransmitters Flow in this Autism Mind: UC Berkeley Moments

Showing posts with label UC Berkeley Moments. Show all posts

https://www.dailycal.org/2018/03/15/first-transitions

Last Class at Berkeley

This day 2 years ago.

OMG. My very last undergrad class at Berkeley.

Berkeley Haas Scholars at work.

RadMad Shoutout.

A shoutout from my old lab, the amazing makerspace UC Berkeley Rad Mad Disability Lab

Let’s give a round of applause to our alumni Hari!! Hari, previously our lead in Team Propaganda, has recently been awarded the 2024 National Science Foundation (NSF) Graduate Research Fellowship.
The RadMad Lab is proud of you!!

Memories

This memory popped up in my feed today.

This was my first semester at The Daily Californian, when I wrote a weekly column with editors Chantelle and Dohee.

Spring 2024 DCC Art Exhibition

Disability Cultural Center at UC Berkeley.

I had 2 poems with accompanying art exhibited

Kinda cool!!

I'm going to miss this, but if you are in Berkeley that time, do give it a peek.

Spring 2024 DCC Art Exhibition! The Art Panelist Committee selected your art to be displayed in the art gallery from the first week of March to the second week of May 2024. Congratulations on being accepted into the art exhibition!

the Art Exhibition Opening is March 7th from 5 pm to 7 pm in the Disability Cultural Community Center in the Hearst Field Annex (HFA) D-25 Berkeley CA 94720.

Campus Change Maker

This post from my UC Berkeley days, showed up at the top of my social media today, along with some new comments.

==========
An honor for sure to be called campus change maker.
in my email inbox today from DSP ListServ

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Bringing Disability Awareness & Visibility to Sproul Plaza!
Visit our table on Sproul Plaza today from 9 to noon to connect with student groups and campus resources including: The Disabled Students Commission, Berkeley Disabled Students Group (BDS), Spectrum at Cal, OCD at Cal, CAPS, RSF, DSP, and the DCC!

As part of Disability Awareness Month celebrations, we are uplifting the work and stories of a series of Change Makers from the Disability Community. This week, we are highlighting the contributions of Hari Srinivasan. Undergraduate student, instructor of the Autism DeCal, and journalist at the Daily Cal.

Image Description: A photo of Hari standing on a bridge on UC Berkeley's campus. Text reads: Hari Srinivasan. Undergraduate student and instructor. There is a quote from Hari next to it that reads, "I want you to think of disability as possibility too. Only when you think of possibility can the door of opportunity be opened."

Way to go Hari! You make a difference!
There is no “Dis” in ability. Well done , keep up the amazing work!
You earned it, Hari. I love our course together, and I look forward to your work in the future. Get after it!
#harirocks
Hari...You are the best!
Well deserved, Hari! You are doing great things in the world.
Love it.

https://www.dailycal.org/2018/03/15/first-transitions

In the thick

Event hosted by Spectrum at Cal during my undergrad years.

Panel on Autism Research

Now I'm in the thick of doing Autism Research. How about that!!

And this is the area I will be looking at https://youtu.be/TG67gYXyz1o

Back at the DeCal

It was lovely to be back as guest speaker at the UC Berkeley Autism Decal Class, a class that I led when I was at Berkeley. I can't believe this will be my 3rd time as guest speaker (or that I'm in 2nd year of grad school). I sure miss that class and the amazing opportunity it provided for me to not just contribute but also to learn and grown.

This time spoke about what my advocacy journey had looked looked like as I want others to come up with their own unique journeys and find ways to contribute, and also about my research in both grad and undergrad.

Sins Invalid

Limitations of Traditional Disability Justice/ Disability Rights Movement

Ignores Intersectionality

Race, Religion, Gender, SES, Immigration Status, Cultural Values

White-male-hetrosexual-Centric. White-privilege centric

(eg: Parallels in Psychology Research which is WEIRD-centric: Western Educated, Industrial, Rich, Democratic Countries)

Power/Status-Centric

Centered around people who have achieved status through legal framework,
Why: Rights have to be won by litigation. So unequal access to rights across the board. You don’t sue, you lose

Mobility-Impairment Centric

Access needs as beyond architectural barriers.

What are we looking for in a Disability Justice Framework

All mind-bodies unique and essential
All mind-bodies have strengths + needs that must be met
All mind-bodies are Powerful, despite complexities
Mind-Bodies are confined by & cannot be separated from our intersectionalities.

Key concepts

Connectedness
Interdependence
Relational & transformative framework.

Sins Invalid. 10 Principles of Disability Justice

Intersectionality
Leadership of the Most Impacted
Anti-capitalist Politic
Commitment to Cross-movement organizing
Reorganizing wholeness
Sustainability
Commitment to Cross-Disability Solidarity
Interdependence
Collective Access
Collective Liberation

1. Intersectionality

Disability is another layer of intersectionality we experience
Impacted by White Privilege,/ Colonial legacy

Intersectionality is not about who is suffering the most but about who is impacted in which areas.

Within our own intersectionality we experience privilege in some areas and oppression in others; varying across context.

Intersectionality impacts access to spaces/ community/ resources /inclusion and funding.

Me --> Autistic + ADHD + other medical/sensory/mood/communication issues + South-Indian descent + Tamil Hindu Iyengar Brahmin + vegetarian + multilingual etc.

What Can be Done

Recognize Disability is not a vacuum.
Collaborate on overlapping issues
What else?

2. Leadership of the Most Impacted

System impacts are not equal.
People most hurt by the system often have a better understanding of what all is wrong with that system.

What Can be Done

Prioritize the more marginalized voices
Be aware of hierarchies within disability
Eg: an unspoken hierarchy means unequal access
What else?

3. Anti-capitalist Politic

Disabled Mind-Body is anti-capitalist
Why:

Capitalism = Survival of Fittest
Competition towards wealth accumulation, land acquisition for the ruling class.

Therefore:

By definition the “non-normative” mind-body of disabled people are invalidated.

What can be done

Rethink Worth of an individual beyond as beyond productivity. Eg: some may not be able to “contribute” in the traditional sense due the more significant disability and THAT’s OK!!
Work on issues that are exacerbated by capitalism Eg: homeless disabled, health care, poverty
Access at times has a “price tag” in capitalist society- so either need to be creative with solutions or organize funding sources.
What else?

4. Commitment to Cross-movement organizing

A relational and transformation framework of Disability Justice means we need to think about disability and ableism in many different ways
Learn from other movements
Paraphrasing what Stuart James, Director of CIL said during class visit to Ed Roberts Campus, Spring 2018 Sem.

“We need to learn from the Gay Rights movement which in just 30 years has become mainstream. “

What can be done?

Disability does not exist in vacuum
You can reach out for allies in unlikely places.
Eg: Reproductive justice is Disability justice. , Climate Justice is Disability Justice
Mixed movement organizing (“nurturing old ways & inventing new ways)
What else?

5. Reorganizing wholeness

Disabled people are whole people
Everyone is a living breathing thinking individual with emotions, sensations, perceptions and quirks.

What can we do

Reject capitalist notion of worth of an individual as tied to his perceived “productivity”
Recognize & support: “We all struggle together” imperfectly
What else?

6. Sustainability

Transformation needs to be deep, longlasting and sustained.
But Transformation does not happen overnight.
Disabled mind-body needs to be paced according to the “spoons” available to us.
“Rest is resistance, Survival is resistance, Anything else is extra”

What can we do?

Group effort, flexible schedules/ deadlines
Avoid Burnout
What else?

7. Commitment to Cross-Disability Solidarity

There can be NO Disability Justice, unless there is Disability Justice for all.
“Honor insights of all community members”
“We are trying to break down barriers”

What Can be Done

Means working together. Collaboration
Connections that cross living, advocacy and education.
Eg: autism + deaf have communication access as a common issue.
What else?

8. Interdependence

State Solutions → they control our lives
Interdependence → we control our lives & help each other. (Our interdependence with other humans & nature was already part of our unconscious before western colonization.)

What Can be Done

Check ins
How to ask for help & communicate needs
Share spoons
What else?

9. Collective Access

Access Needs are not shameful / not a favor
Access Needs are not fixed - depend on context and environment.
We can share responsibility for our access needs.
Needs community, shared responsibility and creative out-of-the-box nuances.

What Can be Done

Pool resources
What else?

10. Collective Liberation

Disability justice is a vision.
Moving together is what gets us to liberation
We are all survivors. “Listen to the Canaries”
“We honor the longstanding legacies of resilience & resistance” for all non-conforming mind-bodies.

What can we do

Recognize: “moving together does not mean we move in the same way;” we are still valued in any way we move.
What else?

Berkeley News

UC Berkeley Chancellor Christ retires next year.

Can't help but remember that had handed me my University Medal finalist award on stage at convocation along with a lovely message. I think she became chancellor around the time I joined Cal.

https://news.berkeley.edu/2023/06/15/chancellor-carol-christ-announces-2024-retirement-plans-for-ambitious-year/

Cal Alum Association Member

Go Bears!!

Media Mention

Today someone reposted a FB comment of mine along with a link to link to one of my columns in the Daily Cal . http://www.dailycal.org/2018/04/19/o-body-where-art-thou/

"I ran the explanations by my neuroscience Prof at Cal (David Presti) to make sure there were no factual errors. He thought I had correctly pulled in a lot of theories on the neuroscience of autism along with a wealth of data and analysis from my experiences and told a compelling story. In final article, had to cut out a couple more concepts due to word limit."

Quite serendipitous that this article was written during an Intro to Neuroscience elective with Prof David Presti (this course was for all majors so nothing like the extra-tough Cell Neuroscience this sem). At that time I was happy I got to go to college at all and soaking it all in. Who knew that I would end up even making it to grad school (today is end of year 1) and getting to do contribute to research in that area too!! Deep gratitude to all who supported me this last year.

Haas Scholars Cohort

This day last year. Hanging with my Haas Scholars Cohort @UC Berkeleu

Capturing Joy

This time in Jan 2022

With my Haas Scholars Cohort on the UC Berkeley Campus.

We were back to in-person meetings though fully masked indoors.

Kevin, 2nd from Left, just got into Columbia Law.

Huge Congrats Kevin! You will surely change the world with your work on prison reform.

Cal Football

Looking back to to this day

From 3 years back - Basketball Game at Haas Stadium, UC Berkeley

Not gone to any games at new school, but hope to in 2023.

A book of Awe

Finally..... my copy arrived. Amazon lost my original order, this is a 2nd one.

Dacher's work is the definitive research on awe.

And my undergrad research was on awe.

Looking forward to reading.

Becoming a Reference

As a student you are used to asking your professors for references.

So it is a surprise, a turnabout when you are asked to be a reference.

The first time was as a junior in undergrad, where I taught a class on autism. One of the students from my autism class at Berkeley for a community position.

Jan 5: Today I got asked again - from a RA I supervised during my undergrad research.

Update: Jan 26: Glad to report she got the teaching position she applied for.

An Awesome Year

A sobering reality: I continue to have a ton of autism challenges and have not made much headway on those year after frustrating year much to my sorrow. They do consume a good part of my day; almost 95% of my life. I do wish that we as a society find solutions to those - both on the non-medical and medical front. However I also want to focus on the positives in this post because those give meaning for me to keep going even as I hope and search for solutions on other fronts. So here's the 5% awesome part even as they are tempered by the other 95%.

Awesome 2022

2022 was an awesome year.
An awesome year it was.
Like the tortoise (in Hare & Tortoise), I took slow strides.
Each autistic step - a belief in the Possibility of Me.
#redefine_the_table, #Hari_as_possibility
From Possibility comes Opportunity

Meeting the President and the Vice-President

2022 was the year I got to go to DC. Twice.
First time to meet with VP Kamala Harris at the Naval Observatory.
A second time I went to the White House where I got to shake President Biden's hand.
What an incredible incredible honor.

Who could have imagined stuff like this for me.
Getting an invite to the White House.
Meeting the President of the US
Just how awesome is that!!

I graduate from UC Berkeley

I'm a college graduate in year 2022. It feels so good. This was a kid that was not even expected to get a high school diploma. My lot was to be in special education and not aspire for much more. Education was the candy in the candy store with me firmly told to be outside.

This was a degree ++ with dollops of unexpected extra bonuses. I absolutely am relishing it.

How awesome is this?
I am just so darn proud of that yearned for degree
Young man, you must be doing some stuff right.
Cuz. along with degree there was even more
Additional appreciation in the most unexpected forms.

University Medal Finalist, I sit on Commencement stage with Chancellor & a Nobel Laureate
Departmental Citation, I give the Department Commencement Speech
Highest Distinction (other universities call this Summa Cum Laude)
Phi Beta Kappa, Psi Chi and 4.0 GPA
Awesome icing on a Berkeley degree

Undergraduate Research

As a Haas Scholar I not only got funding and mentoring for a year long research but I got to be part of a sagacious community, amongst aspiring change makers in myriad fields. The research was so varied and interesting and I listened in awe as students presented on topics from illegal trash dumping in Oakland to Prison Reform to circular RNA and the spread of dengue virus.

A special shout out to Leah Carroll who runs and is the glue that holds the Haas Scholars program together. She kept us to timelines and managed resources to help us get our resource done. And there was a lot of resource management logistics involved, like getting those participant gift cards out through Bear Buy.

I presented my research at 2 Academic Colloquia (Jan & April), and a SPSS (Society for Personality and Social Psychology) Poster Presentation in Feb. And I continue to work with Prof Keltner to get 2 papers (on awe and empathy) to publication.

I had a wonderful an encouraging mentor for my research in Prof Dacher Keltner.

How awesome is it...
...to research awe in autistics
....be mentored by an expert in the science of awe.

Just how awesome is that?

Senior Honors Thesis

This research was also part of my Senior Honors Thesis. Every week I sat with my fellow students in the Honors class lead by Prof Linda Wilbrecht. I learned about what my fellow psychology students researched. I was surrounded by fellow researchers both within and outside the field of psychology.

I submitted my thesis on awe to the department in April - all 66 pages of it.

This was a faculty comment about my thesis

- This is truly an excellent honors thesis! The research topic is incredibly important and interesting, and it is unique to probe the autistic experience of awe in comparison with that of neurotypical individuals. The results are very cool, interesting, and complex. Although this is brand new research and more empirical data are needed, the preliminary results, which argue against the emotion deficit view of autistic individuals, are potentially groundbreaking. I hope you will pursue this work further and I hope we will see the work published in a psychology journal in the near future.

How awesome is that?

I think back to when early educators did not want me in their classrooms and every evaluation report and IEPs were a litany of my "lack of accomplishments," or "lack of progress." In fact during my first special ed kindergarten placement, the teacher sent home a note which essentially said that she was concerned at my lack of progress in the first 6 weeks in her classroom. This was to be a repeated story in the all the multiple special ed classrooms I was shuffled around in.

Think, just how awesome it is for me now, to get comments from educators that rate me as excellent. I'm so so relishing it.

Autism Decal

Spring semester was my 7th and final semester of Autism Decal. Creation of this impactful class at Berkeley is one of my proudest accomplishments during my undergrad. Just how awesome is it to hear that material from this class was influencing a grad student in Europe in her research. A class that grew from 17 to 50. It even was honored with mention on a US President (President Obama's) Instagram. Just too Awesome.

The Daily Californian

I wrote my last column for the Daily Cal and waxed nostalgic (understandably).

What a wonderful experience Berkeley has been for me. It was my Golden Bear Song.

PD Soros Fellowship.

I got the call on Jan 7 from Daisy Soros - I'm a PD Soros Fellow. This is a very prestigious fellowship and the chances of getting in were slim. So to get through was rather surreal.
The news was only to be released in April when 30 scholars graced a full page of the New York Times.

The fellows met at a 4 day conference extravaganza in New York in October.
Daisy Soros sure is a powerhouse at 94 - I am in awe!!
We fellows chatted, met with famous alum, toured New York and more - the Met, a Broadway musical, a Jazz club and a formal cocktail hosted by Daisy Soros. The conference sure was a lifetime experience and what an amazing cohort to be in.

Getting into Grad School

I'd applied to grad school last fall.
Results in early spring.
Decision deadline Apr 15.
Headed to Vanderbilt for a PhD in Neuroscience in Fall.

Can you believe this guy from grade 8 special ed now actually headed to grad school?

Media Coverage

There was a ton of media coverage around the PD Soros fellowship, my Berkeley graduation and Vanderbilt grad school admission.

I got multiple mentions in various UC Berkeley sites. Daily Cal covered me (a turnaround as I usually write the articles). I even made it to an article in Forbes. There was coverage in many Indian American newspapers and at Vanderbilt too.

All the coverage felt a little overwhelming yet I am totally grateful for all this acknowledgment of my accomplishments. (It helps counter the years and years of trauma build up with the reports of, will never amount to anything, claims)

From California to Tennessee.

Grad School has meant a move across the country from Berkeley CA to Nashville TN.
It is a new place to adjust too! Transition and autism are not the best of bedfellows.

I miss the extracurriculars and friends back home. I miss the view of the Bay and Golden Gate Bridge from my California bedroom window.

It's pretty hot here in summer, a little too hot. But it's also green and lush with lots of rain. The grass is green even in winter due to the rain. Rain-starved California sure could use some of this rain (just not this week as I hear there are Bay Area mudslides due to heavy rains!!).

I'm not missing the annual wildfire smoke of California. One year the sky turned orange from the smoke and the entire town of Paradise was burnt down. And looks like I narrowly missed some recent big earthquakes in the Bay Area.

But there are other natural disasters to content with here - like my first tornado spent anxiously in the basement. What if you are traveling on an open road?

Winter is wet and cold with some snow. I'm not so sure I like this level of cold. I experienced my first snow and was housebound for 4-5 days over the winter break till the slick black ice on roads melted away. Being housebound for even a few days was a little scary but of course it's nothing compared to the plight of folks caught in the Buffalo snow blizzard.

Nature is lovely here - a walk in the nearby Percy-Warner park under the shade of the massive trees reminded me of the tall redwoods in Yosemite. The best part is the daily wildlife show. People travel to see such shows. Turkey and deer grace my backyard, with the occasional fox. I watched baby deer frolic around and grow into adults. Myriad birds perch and practice birdsong on the woody vines that hangs from the tall trees. Wildlife with a backdrop of tall lush trees in summer, changing leaf colors in fall and the snow clad barren trees of winter are awesome sights to see.

Nashville is Music City and I hope to get to experience some of that music soon.....

Grad School @Vanderbilt from Fall

Grad School orientation
A Lab Coat Ceremony with my own Personalized Lab Coat
A Neuroscience Retreat
Lab Rotation at SENSE (Social Emotional Neuroscience Endocrinology) Lab
Participate in the SENSE Theatre workshop.
An own office space at the research lab with my name on the door.
NISE Fellow at the Frist Center for Autism and Innovation at Vanderbilt.
Did well on the academic front (Synesthesia, Multisensory Integration)

Survived first semester.....

A huge change, transitions that quite make the head spin.
Still adjusting, lots of figuring out left to do... a work in progress the next few years.
Fingers crossed that my unpredictable autism challenges let me travel this journey well.
And make useful contributions along the way.

But really, just how awesome has this year been?

Vacations

Got to visit Italy; Florence and Venice & Tuscany countryside over Spring Break.

India over the summer for my cousin Ved's Poonal ceremony

Memphis over Thanksgiving break.

And the 2 DC Trips and the NY Trip.

Hope for an (equally) awesome 2023

I wonder what 2023 will bring?
In the Possibility of Me?

Dare I hope from others
....Surrounded by folks who are patient, encouraging & empathic of my disability
... Make kind friends outside the classroom

Slow purposeful strides, an elephant I want to be.
... Relish learning and knowledge coupled with endless curiosity
... Use Advocacy & Research to add more pebbles that widen ripples in the pond of change.
... Giant leaps on the journey to emotional equanimity (mood continues to be tough nut)
... Learn to better manage & cope with the vagaries of my unpredictable disability which can feel like a leaky boat.