Neurotransmitters Flow in this Autism Mind

Autistic Burnout

What is it?

Autistic burnout is a term used to describe a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion.

Autistic burnout can affect the ability to function in daily life, and may be accompanied by symptoms such as depression, meltdowns, anxiety, and executive dysfunction.

Causes

It is a result of prolonged exposure to stressors, such as sensory overload, social demands, and other challenges.

University Medal Finalist

Another piece of good news. I'm a university medal finalist; in the graduating class of 11,000 students across all disciplines. Berkeley has been good to me.

https://news.berkeley.edu/2022/05/09/in-times-of-crisis-2022-university-medal-finalists-summoned-resilience-hope/

What character or experience sets the Class of 2022 apart?

“Resilience in readjusting back to a world of many new normals and new possibilities. For instance, it has been a bit harder to sit in a physical classroom now; it’s like many social skills built up over the years got lost in the void of a two-year lockdown. My motor system is in an uncertain state, at best, so there is a bit of a relearning curve involved for many like me. There are, however, many positives in our new normal, such as the possibility for remote or hybrid employment and education, which will benefit so many disabled folks like me.”

What has been a challenge you faced at Berkeley and how did you address it? “I loved that at Berkeley I was surrounded by non-judgmental peers who were open to inclusion, except they often didn’t know how to include, a major reason being they have not been exposed to many spoken communication-challenged autistics like me at the college level. My navigating Cal meant thinking of solutions from two ends — for me, personally, and strategies as to how others in that group could go about including me. An example is that I took on the introduction part in the debate team in professor David Presti’s introduction to neuroscience class instead of attempting the later rounds, which required more rapid responses. So I was part of the team, contributing, instead of just existing on the sidelines. This has obviously been easier in structured academic situations than in social settings.

You Never Gave Up on Me

Dedicated to the EXTRAORDINARY MOMS and DADS and PARENTS out there,

on behalf of your extraordinary child.

You Never Gave Up on Me

You held me in your arms, oh mother mine
When I was a mere wrinkled newborn babe
You gazed at me with love and joy
Just as all young mothers do.

I walked my first step and said my first word
With pride, you watched my every move
You expected me to walk the predictable path
Just as all young mothers do.

You watched me slip and slide away
Wondering why I didn't do what other kids do
I stopped making eye contact with you
And stopped the spoken words too

A well of sadness entered your eyes
The smile not always in place
Perplexed and puzzled
Do I know this child of mine at all?

But, you rolled up your sleeves
You never gave up on me

You took the other fork on the road
The one without the map
You struggled and searched for solutions
You fought endless battles for me

You put your fists up and took a stance
And you never gave up on me

Lost in the desert of sadness
You changed your perception of things
You summoned new strength and courage
From the unfathomable deep

You changed your whole life for me
And, you never gave up on me

You coaxed every small victory out of me
Pride overflowed from your eyes
Steps of this extraordinary child
Of quite the extraordinary mom

You do the job of a dozen people
And you never gave up on me

Exhausting is the journey you're on
Exhilarating only some of the time
I am not the typical child you thought you'd raise
New challenges lie in the path every day

To the extraordinary mom who holds my hand
And who never gave up on me.

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I wrote this poem sometime during high school. But I feel it is still so relevant even today. This poem is dedicated to all those wonderful and amazing moms and dads and parents out there who did not give up on their disabled child. Thank you for your dedication and fortitude, in rolling up your sleeves and taking on the world for us, without even knowing how to go about it.

I think back to the story of the frog who climbed to the top of the well amidst discouragement from the crowd that the task was impossible; turns out the frog was deaf so had not heard the discouragement, so made it all the way to the top.

This is what parents of the children seen as having more challenging disabilities face every day. From the get go, they are nudged to tone down expectations of their children, not to expect much. Lady Liberty did not hold up her torch of the American Dream for that child.

Over the years, I have seen many of my peers disappear one by one into the void of the system (out of sight and out of mind of society), as the once eager and enthusiastic parents reach a state of burnout and exhaustion, with this constant barragement of discouragement and lack of support. Other adult peers who have aged out of the special education system are sitting at home with their aging parents as adult day programs want “easy to manage” adults (sheep!!), even as there is a dearth of support systems for the ones with “behaviors.” It is like a battle for the classroom placements and supports during the school district years, starting all over again in adulthood for many.

Thank you to all the extra-ordinary parents out there, for your support and embrace, when the world seems to abandon us at every new stage, not just when we were children but as adults and possibly even when we are middle aged. For many with more significant disabilities, our parents and siblings are likely the only family we will ever have. I wonder who will be there as this lifelong pillar, when we are senior citizens ourselves, where we are not just battling aging issues but also the nature of our disability may mean that not all of us reach a level where we are able to take care of ourselves and have to depend on the largesse of paid staff for a decent quality of life.

Parents, Yours is truly a dedication of a lifetime. Thank you.

Last Day of Undergrad classes

The very last class: Haas Scholars Seminar

Last Lecture

As a graduating senior I got to attend a college tradition, a very motivational, Last Lecture by Astrophysics professor, Alexei Filipenko of the exploding supernova and black holes fame. Berkeley has all these amazing faculty who are just so interesting and engaging to listen to. You are just swept away when listening to them. For instance, when Prof Filippenko explains hawking radiation in class, he comes dressed as a black hole, and scatters shiny candy around class. And of course his t-shirt says, Dark Energy is the new black.

It was a lovely last lecture that led us through his personal journey, and his work, which was quite incredible to hear as well as motivational. He really focused on how how endless curiosity led him to where he is today.

The late Carl Sagan had said there were three important characteristics we needed, kindness, kindness and kindness. Professor Filippenko added empathy and curiosity to that list.

Oh, and the picture on the bottom is a quote from Socrates which says Education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel. I think back to what Swami says about character being the end of education.

Thesis Submission

My year long research, my undergrad Honors capstone research as a Haas Scholar, was finally submitted this morning.

All 66 pages of it.....

This is what the cover page looks like.

I got covered by Berkeley Grad Diversity

I got covered by Grad Diversity

Full article: https://grad.berkeley.edu/news/announcements/a-thirst-for-education-and-autism-advocacy/

“Though it was a sense of duty that initially drew me to participate in GiGS as a mentor, it has been my absolute privilege to know Hari and be a small support in his journey to graduate school. I am positive he will accomplish wonderful things at Vanderbilt and beyond.” Lindsey Burnside. Hari's GiGs mentor

...

Hari is very clear about what drives his passion for higher education. “A college degree and above is what gets you a seat at the table, where you get to be part of the conversion about who gets access to spaces, funding, and resources. If we want to see change, belonging, acceptance, and other solutions for autistics, we need to see more autistics in higher ed. And we need to see all profiles of autistics, including the most marginalized autistics, for this change to be meaningful.”

But for Hari, just having a seat at the table is not enough. “I want to be able to redefine the table itself, whether it’s academically or in advocacy. A fair and inclusive world does not just have to be a myth. We need to work actively to make the possibility a reality. Everyone deserves the same opportunity of education, inclusion, and belonging.”

Daily Cal covers me

In an about turn, I'm being written about by someone else at the Daily Cal.

Daily Californian: UC Berkeley wins Soros Fellowship to pursue PhD.

Full article: https://www.dailycal.org/2022/04/25/uc-berkeley-senior-hari-srinivasan-wins-soros-fellowship-to-pursue-ph-d/

At Berkeley, Srinivasan has already been conducting undergraduate research in the area of autism as a Haas scholar, according to Haas Scholars program manager and advisor Leah Caroll. Caroll said Srinivasan has looked specifically at how those with autism process emotions differently from non-autistics. In doing so, he has broken down common stereotypes about those with the disability, she added.

“It’s interesting that his scholarship is in itself a form of activism,” Caroll said.

In addition to writing more than 50 articles for The Daily Californian, Srinivasan is a member of Phi Beta Kappa and Psi Chi, leads a DeCal dedicated to educating peers about autism and serves as a national activist for policy reform surrounding disabilities, according to Caroll.

Caroll added that despite his commitments, Srinivasan goes out of his way to help his peers in the Haas Scholars program.

“He’s been extraordinarily generous with his time and expertise,” Caroll said. “He’s taught everyone about different ways of communicating.”

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https://flipboard.com/@thedailycal/news-0brl6vv8z/uc-berkeley-senior-hari-srinivasan-wins-soros-fellowship-to-pursue-ph-d/a-A5xuoZcdTBi5nARLAlHynw%3Aa%3A2444082641-b8f0e80a36%2Fdailycal.org

Media Mention

Departmental Citation

An honor. Thank you Professor Dacher Keltner for nominating me.

More than anything, it is super humbling to be recognized by educators, who actually help enable my success through their support and empathy.

The Departmental Citation Award was initiated in 1955 by the Committee on Prizes to recognize distinguished undergraduate work in each department. The Departmental Citation is awarded to the top undergraduate in the Psychology Department based on all aspects of academic life including: research, coursework, writing, and service to the university.

Campus Lockdown

https://www.dailycal.org/2022/04/21/uc-berkeley-students-advised-to-shelter-in-place-in-person-services-canceled-following-credible-campuswide-threat/

https://abc7news.com/amp/uc-berkeley-shelter-in-place-cal-active-shooter-threat-emergency-near-campus-police/11776955/?fbclid=IwAR1xvGohp9m7gfY6_KA-EBCMc0FjQvhK4HbFkgeJ-y41EoAtQLdfXo6DrgI

https://patch.com/california/berkeley/uc-berkeley-under-shelter-orders-amid-unspecified-emergency-cops?utm_source=alert-breakingnews&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=alert

UPDATE: Shelter orders have been lifted at UC Berkeley, campus police announced in a 1:41 p.m. alert.

Authorities were seeking a person who "may want to harm specific individual," campus police said in an earlier alert. It is not clear whether the person was located or whether anyone was taken into custody in connection with the disturbance.

"The shelter in place has been lifted," the alert said. "Please leave the campus in a safe and orderly way via the closest route available. UCPD has determined based upon its investigation that it is appropriate to end the shelter in place. Buildings will remain locked."

UPDATE: The person at the center of incident at UC Berkeley that triggered campus-wide shelter orders was heard on the UC Police Department scanner, UC Berkeley's student newspaper reports.

UC Berkeley has been under lockdown all day Thursday due to an unspecified emergency, campus police said.

Police said they're seeking someone who "may want to harm specific individual."

The Daily Californian reports that the person has barricaded themself at the Cesar E. Chavez Student Center's room 501, and that the person was heard on a UCPD scanner claiming that "I am the reason why this is all happening!"

UPDATE: Berkeleyside's Ally Markovich reported seeing three helicopters flying overhead in a 10:54 a.m. tweet.

A KRON report updated at 10:52 a.m. describes a chaotic scene on campus in which students are still roaming the campus amid admonitions of officers to go inside.

UPDATE: The campus-wide warning came through on cell phones just as students were heading into their morning classes, prompting hundreds to turn around and run back to their dorms. Students reported huddling down in their dorm rooms while trying to find out if a shooting had occurred or if a shooter was on campus.

UPDATE: An administrator texted the UC Berkeley community advising that the threat is related to a disgruntled student recently suspended for threatening behavior.

"The Warnme that just went out is relative to an emerging active shooter threat situation related to a student who has been placed on interim suspension for threatening behavior. Please encourage people to follow the shelter in place. We will be shutting all the buildings," Assistant Executive Vice Chancellor Andrea Lambert said.

Update: UC Police at 10:18 a.m. issued an alert that said "there is NOT an active shooter on campus" after rumors floating on social media suggested that was the case.

UC police said: "There is NOT an active shooter on campus. Police are actively looking for a person who may want to harm specific individuals. Please continue to shelter in place at this time. Stay tuned to Twitter for updates."