Vagaries of English Phraseology: Journey of An Autistic through GrammarLand
https://www.dailycal.org/2019/04/07/vagaries-of-english-phraseology-a-personal-essay/
Vagaries of English Phraseology: Journey of An Autistic through GrammarLand
My introduction to the world of academics was rather late, since I learned to communicate via typing for the first time in my life only after I was a teenager. I was stuck in a silent, non-communicative world of autism until then.
My first attempts at typing were, at best, fragments. The focus was communication for this nonspeaking boy with autism. I’d never had conversations with the outside world before. I was as excited as a toddler just learning to speak. No one, least of all me, cared for the things called “punctuation,” “grammar” or “semantics.”
There would be odd spaces, words that ran together, an occasional comma or period, sentence fragments and all. Bursts of thought came gushing out and it was important to get the key words out rather than worry about a well-structured sentence. My impulsive and hyperactive body did not make for smooth typing either. My finger would accidentally hit the caps lock key and a few uppERcase letters would appear in the middle of the word as I slowly typed.
No one, least of all me, cared for the things called
“punctuation,” “grammar” or “semantics.”
But communication was opening up my world, so I didn’t quite care. And when I started typing short pieces and poems, it was all in lowercase.
You see, using uppercase involved the use of two fingers: one on the shift key and the other on the letter key. But I was a one finger typer — a lone index finger on my right hand roamed the QWERTY keyboard, searching for and hopping slowly from letter to letter.
I soared in the power the written words afforded me. My written word substituted the spoken word. People never said pause or comma when they spoke so I figured I need not worry.
With the ability to communicate came the expressed longing for education. When the transition from special education took place, I leapt into eighth grade mainstream academics with anticipation and glee — straight into the arms of Shakespeare, algebra and biology.
An unexpected side of pedantics then reared its head — there was demand for these things called “grammar” and “punctuation.” Grammar was hardly the thing to teach in my former special education world. In special education, I was thought capable of only learning C-A-T spells cat and D-O-G spells dog, and single digit addition like 8+2 = 10.
My mind wrapped around a whole host of new terminology that was part of mainstream academics. Bits of sentences linked to grammar terms, however, simply had no relevance for me.
Grrr! Gerunds were strangers that growled at me.
Modifiers dangled for some reason.
Mood was an imagined subjunctive
instead of happy every season.
Why were the verbs tensed?
I told them, don’t stress, just meditate.
“Is language not something to enjoy, rather than to be dissected like a frog?” I moaned. Did we have to reduce a sentence to a string of grammar terms?
Bursts of thoughts flow from the brain
Authority insists, must confine to rules
Macrocosm bound by microcosm chain
Drown in grammar phraseology
Lost in punctuation terminology
Essays needed punctuation and spell check; it was mandatory. I needed to bring my other index finger into play to hold down that shift key. Even punctuation like the lowercase comma had their issues.
Sometimes the Oxford comma was needed by the teacher and at other times, it was a no-show. I wondered if the poor comma made the journey from Oxford, England to the Bay Area each time it was needed.
Word processor spell checks somewhat came to my rescue. I enjoyed the composition, literature and vocabulary parts of English.
but grammar terminology —
— definitely, not in my list of graces.
In a strange new world I was navigating.
It was in an American literature class that I first met e e cummings. The first poem I read by him was “in Just-.”
His poetry confounded me. A first glance, I sat up and wondered, “IS THIS WRITTEN BY A BOY WITH AUTISM — with poor fine motor ability like me? He uncapitalized, words ran together, there were white spaces and a general lack of punctuation. I was baffled and nonplussed, absolutely fascinated. I gaped and stared at the poem on the page.
What was going on and who was this person?
How did such a poem by a person with fine motor challenges make its way into my school textbook?
I soon discovered that e e cummings was a famous poet who intentionally decried grammar convention and punctuation. Even his name was all lowercase. No one had liked him initially, so he had to self-publish. But his unconventional style ended up being much admired by generations of critics thereafter.
There was meaning in his very lack of punctuation
which gave me a lot of courage. Maybe I need not conform.
There was meaning in his very lack of punctuation which gave me a lot of courage. Maybe I need not conform. Perhaps my autism challenges could be transformed into strengths along the way. I just had to — had to — write in kind. I wrote the following poem in response to cummings’ assertions in his poem “since feeling is first“ and wrote it in the nonconformist style of his other poem “in Just-.”
noPeriods, Period
death’s no parenthesis
asserts e e cummings.
actually
death
is
a
comma
an
ellipsis
whitespace
aPause
as the soulRenewsBody
life’s no paragraph
avows e e cummings
just face it
life — is
a
smorgasbord
no grammar syntax
…just flows…..
noPeriods. Period.
says e e hari
I have to thank e e cummings for giving me additional perspectives on breaking the boundaries. “it takes courage to grow up and become who you really are,” he once said.
I can break free to just be me.
Contact Hari Srinivasan at hari@dailycal.org.
8th Annual Autism Walk at UC Berkeley
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| Giving an Intro Speech at the Autism Run |
Hi everyone. My name is Hari Srinivasan and I’m a student here at Cal. I also write for the Daily Cal.
Berkeley is the birthplace of the disability rights movement and autism is one of the fastest growing neurodevelopmental disabilities today. Autism in all its forms has a voice and we want to make it heard. Did you know my friend David and I are the first two non-verbal students with autism here at Cal. It goes to show that autism too is a diversity category with the wide range of neuro diverse minds that comes with it. Only with more exposure to individuals on the spectrum, will there be a change in mindsets and greater acceptance. Having students with autism can be a win win for all.
When I turned up for the autism walk last year, I did not even know that there was a spectrum organization here at Cal. Since then, I have been doing a wonderful walk with this student organization and learning about the other interesting activities being done in the community for the autism population. I started off on the autism acceptance committee where I did tabling and flyering for the first time in my life. This semester I am actually teaching a class on autism to 20 neurotypical students.
Autism is like a cocoon that morphs into all sorts of unexpected colorful butterflies. If you notice our new logo is a butterfly. The butterfly effect says a small local change can lead to profound and complex changes around the world. That is what you are all doing here today by participating. You are all part of the butterfly effect that will change the way autism is perceived, understood and accepted.
Thank you for making it here today.
When I turned up for the autism walk last year, I did not even know that there was a spectrum organization here at Cal. Since then, I have been doing a wonderful walk with this student organization and learning about the other interesting activities being done in the community for the autism population. I started off on the autism acceptance committee where I did tabling and flyering for the first time in my life. This semester I am actually teaching a class on autism to 20 neurotypical students.
Autism is like a cocoon that morphs into all sorts of unexpected colorful butterflies. If you notice our new logo is a butterfly. The butterfly effect says a small local change can lead to profound and complex changes around the world. That is what you are all doing here today by participating. You are all part of the butterfly effect that will change the way autism is perceived, understood and accepted.
Thank you for making it here today.
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| THE AUTISM BOARD AT UC BERKELEY |
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| Autism Run Participants |
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| Prepping Label for runners before the run. Opening safety pins is tough work. |
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| Jordan, my fellow DeCal student teacher |
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| The Autism Board |
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Crip Time
Crip Time
"Crip time" refers to the concept and practice of disability culture and community, which challenges the ableist notion that time is fixed and linear, and recognizes that different bodies and minds experience time differently.It acknowledges that disabled people, including autistics, often need more time to accomplish tasks and may have to adapt their schedules and routines to their own unique abilities and limitations. Crip time also challenges the notion that productivity and efficiency should be prioritized over rest and self-care.
"Rather than bend disabled bodies and minds to meet the clock, crip time bends the clock to meet disabled bodies and minds." Alison Kafer
Essentially, Crip Time is a shift towards valuing and centering the needs and experiences of disabled individuals, rather than expecting them to conform to ableist norms and standards.
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Plain Language Version
What is "Crip Time"?
"Crip time" is an idea from disability culture that says not everyone experiences time the same way. It challenges the usual way of thinking that time is strict and always the same for everyone.
Crip time recognizes that disabled people, including those with autism, often need more time to do things. They might need to change their schedules and routines to fit their own abilities and limitations. It also says that it's okay to prioritize rest and self-care over always being productive and efficient.
As Alison Kafer says, "Rather than bend disabled bodies and minds to meet the clock, crip time bends the clock to meet disabled bodies and minds."
In simple terms, Crip Time means valuing and focusing on the needs and experiences of disabled people, instead of expecting them to fit into strict, ableist time schedules and standards.
Delays in Diagnosis
Delays in Diagnosis
Girls, BIPOC, lower SES
- Delays in Dx → Impacts access to early intervention services (up to age 5)
- Girls: Traditionally thought to affect only males.
- BIPOC & lower SES - Access to Healthcare
- Blacks - mis dx as “Conduct Disorder” instead of ASD
- Access to state services only if dx before age 22
- Later years - dx is a relief, an explanation of “not fitting in”, provides a sense of community.
Camouflaging and Masking
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What is it.
Camouflaging or masking refers to the process by autistics learn to hide or suppress their autistic traits or behaviors in order to fit in and appear more neurotypical Essentially, it is the mimicking of NT behaviors. This can include things like suppressing stims (repetitive movements or sounds), forcing eye contact, or learning and mimicking social scripts or body language in order to appear more socially adept.
Why?
Masking or camouflaging is often a coping strategy used by autistics to navigate social situations that can be overwhelming or challenging. It is a means to fit-in and also a question of safety, as the display of atypical behaviors can lead to negative reactions from others.
Consequences.
It can also be exhausting and can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, and burnout.
Do only certain "type" of autistics engage in masking/camouflaging?
No. Masking and Camouflaging is engaged in by autistics across spectrum. Do only certain "type" of autistics engage in masking/camouflaging?
People with higher support needs just may be less adept at pulling it off, but everyone has the desire to be safe from potential negative consequences.
Does sex play a difference.
Recent research has also suggested that females are able to camouflage better which results in late-diagnosis.
Recent research has also suggested that females are able to camouflage better which results in late-diagnosis.
Related Posts
- Masking & Camouflaging.https://uniquelyhari.blogspot.com/2021/09/cm.html
- Triple Bind and Masking in Autistic Femaleshttps://uniquelyhari.blogspot.com/2021/04/triple-bind-masking.html
- Masking as an evolutionary advantage https://uniquelyhari.blogspot.com/2020/04/masking-as-evolutionary-advantage.html
- CAT-Q measure to measure camouflaging in autistic females. https://uniquelyhari.blogspot.com/2021/04/cat-q-measure-to-measure-camouflaging.html
- Dont Cant Wont - Masking Camouflaging https://uniquelyhari.blogspot.com/2021/05/dcw.html
Autistic Savant
Savant abilities are often associated with autism and the word savant is used to describe autistics who have remarkable talents or skills that are rare or difficult to explain.
Examples of Autistic Savants
- Daniel Tammet - a writer and mathematician who has exceptional abilities in numerical and linguistic skills. He has authored several books and is known for his ability to recite pi to over 22,000 digits.
- Stephen Wiltshire - an artist who has an exceptional photographic memory and ability to draw detailed and accurate cityscapes from memory after only a brief aerial viewing.
- Kim Peek - known as the inspiration for the character of Raymond Babbitt in the movie "Rain Man", Peek had an exceptional memory for facts and details, including memorizing 12K books and is an expert in 15 subjects. Used to read 2 pages simultaneously which took him just 8 seconds.
While savant abilities can be impressive and unique, it is important to recognize and value the full range of abilities and strengths of all autistics and other disabled people.
Busting Myths:
- Not every autistic is a savant
- Not every autistic is a software genius.
Infantile vs Regressive Autism
Autism Lexicon
Infantile autism, also known as classic autism, is characterized by significant impairments in social interaction, communication, and the presence of restricted, repetitive behaviors. It is typically diagnosed in early childhood, before the age of three. Core symptoms often include delayed or absent speech development, challenges in engaging in typical social interactions, and a preference for routines or repetitive movements.
Regressive autism, also termed late-onset or acquired autism, involves a marked loss of previously acquired developmental skills, particularly in social communication and interaction. This regression typically manifests between 15 and 30 months of age. Children may initially develop normally but then experience a decline in verbal communication, social engagement, and may exhibit decreased eye contact, along with an increase in repetitive behaviors. [Read more on Regressive Autism]
PlainSpeak
Infantile autism, or classic autism, is a type of autism diagnosed early, usually before a child turns three. Children with this condition often have delayed speech, find it hard to interact socially, and may show repetitive behaviors like hand-flapping or lining up toys.
Regressive autism happens when a child starts developing normally but then loses skills they once had, especially in talking and interacting with others. This usually occurs between 15 and 30 months old. A child might stop using words they knew, become less interested in playing with others, avoid eye contact, and start showing repetitive behaviors. This sudden change can be very challenging for both the child and their family. [PlainSpeak: Read more on Regressive Autism]
Accepted to ASAN's ACI Summer Leadership Academy
Just Heard:
Congratulations! You have been accepted to ASAN’s 2019 Autism Campus Inclusion (ACI) Summer Leadership Academy. We enjoyed learning about your advocacy goals for your campus, and are thrilled to welcome an exceptional group of self-advocates to our upcoming leadership training in Washington D.C.
Congratulations! You have been accepted to ASAN’s 2019 Autism Campus Inclusion (ACI) Summer Leadership Academy. We enjoyed learning about your advocacy goals for your campus, and are thrilled to welcome an exceptional group of self-advocates to our upcoming leadership training in Washington D.C.
The Making and Breaking of Relationships
The Making and Breaking of Relatioships
https://www.dailycal.org/2019/03/17/the-making-and-breaking-of-relationships/
I interviewed two psychology professors at UC Berkeley for my latest article in The Daily Californian.
The strategies in the article are powerful tools at our disposal, no matter the nature of the relationship (romantic, friendship, any type of association) or situation. Neurodiverse disabilities like AUTISM mean we need as big a toolkit as possible to navigate life and societal norms designed for a narrower set of the population.
I personally found a lot of irony in the "self-distancing" strategy discussed in the article. When I first started learning to communicate via typing as a teen, I used to always refer to myself in the 3rd person - I was, "the kid with autism," "the noble youth with autism." I was told every time to rephrase it in "first person" mode and use the words "I" and "Me".
At that time I grappled with the conundrum of reconciling the "We to Me."
Now I feel like I've come back a full circle, - "Me to We" was actually a good thing all along.
When Priviledge is Exploitation of the Disabled. Rinse Repeat
Today’s BBC and CNN and many other media outlets ran stories on Lori Laughlin’s daughter and how “apparently contrite” she is and how she blames her privilege for not even being aware of her mistakes.
Everyone is talking about how the sports quota was misused and how money was used to buy seats. There seems to be less outrage over the exploitation of a vulnerable population.
Why is there not more outrage
shame on you talk shows for inviting these people back and giving them visibility
Shame of you mainstream newspapers for highlighting and making newsworthy a carefully orchestrated PR image rebuilding campaign of celebrities, that too in a year where you were working on touting the 30th anniversary of ADA.
Is this why 150 folks with disabilities crawled up the steps the steps of Capitol Hill in 1990 to get the ADA passed?
Is this the use for disability accommodations.
It in incredibly hard for real disabled people to get a dx in order to access services.
Accommodations are hard fought for in order to provide equity of access for disabled people. it is a struggle to get even basic accommodations at every level often involving lawsuits.
I’m a psychology student and deeply ashamed of the psychologists who handing out disabled labels to privileged kids so they can exploit disability accommodations. It's a violation of the disability community.
Shame on anyone who is enabling such people to become social influencers again.
What message are you sending. that its ok to exploit and violate a vulnerable if you are privileged, because money can buy you a PR firm in case it backfires.
What is the message being sent out, that the disabled community are sitting ducks for exploitation as and when you want?
Coming and saying you was unaware because of your privilege seems like a made up another "privileged" excuse especially when you read the LA times article that talks about the methods used. Students were coached on how to act “slow” so they could get an learning disability dx. Which meant they got extra time for their SAT and ACT tests.
Did privilege mask the fact that pretending to be slow to get a disability diagnosis is somehow wrong?
Did privilege mask that getting the extra time on tests or that private time seem not quite right?
Its not just exploitation, it feel like a violation of the disability community. it is real damage being done to the disabled community which is trying to so hard to make inroads into acceptance and inclusion.
If a person is really contrite, and wants to not just privilege as an excuse, try to truly understand the other side. Don’t talk the talk, walk the walk. Koin the peace corps, go work in a real underprivileged area for a few years, without using it as a photo op or a background to your social media. Live like that community, dress like that community, eat like that community and do some good for that community.
You can only become a “somebody" when you become a “nobody" who is really making a real difference to that community.
Your health is as safe as that of the worst-insured
Your health is as safe as that of the worst-insured.
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