Black Ice

Thin and clear, hard to see,
Black ice makes roads slippery.
Silent and unseen, it lies ahead,
A slippery trap, ready to paralyze one dead


Zoom classes on schedule today

Postsynaptic receptors will rule the day. 
But no commute is relief!

Freezing Rain

Ground temperature, below-freezing

Air temperature, above-freezing
liquid raindrops fall, temperature bends.
Drops hit the ground, instant freeze
Freezing rain, slick roads of unease.

Snow Flurry

Ice from the clouds, in a frozen rain
A snow flurry falls, with a icy refrain
Pebbles of spray, scatter with a sound
On the ground, they patter all around.

To college I must still go
LASR lab awaits me, with experiments to unfold
EEG and sMRI, knowledge to behold

Two birds in Frost

From my breakfast window: 

Frost on the green winter grass
Glistening in the rays of the emerging sun
Tiny birds bask on the mighty tree stump

My small moment of awe today. 

What joy!!

-Hari Srinivasan

 

===========

We pay so much money for all the therapy in the autism space. Here is something that is completely and absolutely FREE. The best part is, no one can gatekeep and deny its access for you or decide you are "not a good-fit."

It's AWE.  Awe is beneficial to the mind and the body. And you don't have to travel far on an expensive vacation to experience awe. It's all around you - that blade of grass, that tall building you walk beneath, images from the James Webb telescope, our BFF God (forever, gonna outlast us all), or even that tiny ant on the ground.

Let's make use of and benefit from this 

FREE, ACCESSIBLE & BENEFICIAL RESOURCE of AWE 

by engaging in small moments of AWE everyday. 

Here's another post on A Moment of Awe - Birth of a Star

Light Snowfall

Snowflakes dance in the air,
Falling softly, without a care.

But to college neuroscience I must go
Blood brain barriers and biophysiology today
I did not like walking in that cold

The cold bites, the wind moans.
Goosebumps, hard to withstand.
Though it's harsh, it's also grand.

Snow today

Another round of snow today. Just a light snowfall like a constant drizzle of rain all day. Had to go to college anyway. Had to walk from the parking lot to class and then move from one building to next for the next class.  It was gloomy at 4pm and quite cold at 36 F. 

Thunderstorm Haikus

Thunderstorm going on in Nashville. Tomorrow - Snow forecast (which may mean housebound as the city is not used to frequent snow). 

Not used to getting so many severe weather alerts on phone.

Severe Thunderstorm warning.... 60 mph wind gusts. Half Dollar size Hail... 1.25 inch. Damage to Vehicle is expected. Expect wind damage to roofs, siding and trees. For your protection move to an interior room on the lowest floor of a building.  

Luckily it stopped at just heavy rains with thunder and lightning. We missed the 13mph twister that devastated 50 miles of Selma, Alabama located just south of where we are. 

In the meantime, dry California, which is not used to rain, is getting battered with the relentless rain deluge, wind gusts, flooding, mudslides and sinkholes with seven consecutive storms starting just before the start of 2023. Flooding is inevitable when you get 1 month worth of rain falling in one day with a cumulative effect with storm after storm. The annual wildfires and the continued drought had left behind bare hills and parched soil, which aggravate the mudslides and floods. 

Climate change in action.

Nashville Fog

 

Nashville Winter Weather Saga

 

Now its fog

Tornado and Thunderstorms

Today it's both in Nashville. Tornado Watch as well as Flood Advisory due to severe thunderstorms. We escaped the tornado but I still remember the last one. 

The sky grows dark and ominous

As storm clouds gather near

The air is thick with tension

As we brace ourselves in fear

The lightning flashes brightly

As the thunder starts to roll

The wind begins to howl

As the rain starts to pour

But it's the tornado to fear most

A swirling, deadly force

That tears across the landscape

Leaving destruction in its course

We huddle in our shelters

As the winds rage outside

Praying for the storm to pass

As we try to hide

But when it's over and we emerge

We see the damage that's been done

The twisted metal and broken homes

Lives forever undone

Yet even as we mourn

And pick up the pieces of our lives

We know that we'll face the storm again

For it's a part of nature's strife.

An Awesome Year

An Awesome Year

A sobering reality: I continue to have a ton of autism challenges and have not made much headway on those year after frustrating year much to my sorrow. They do consume a good part of my day; almost 95% of my life. I do wish that we as a society find solutions to those - both on the non-medical and medical front. However I also want to focus on the positives in this post because those give meaning for me to keep going even as I hope and search for solutions on other fronts. So here's the 5% awesome part even as they are tempered by the other 95%.

Awesome 2022

2022 was an awesome year.
An awesome year it was.
Like the tortoise (in Hare & Tortoise), I took slow strides.
Each autistic step - a belief in the Possibility of Me.
#redefine_the_table, #Hari_as_possibility
From Possibility comes Opportunity

Meeting the President and the Vice-President

2022 was the year I got to go to DC. Twice.
First time to meet with VP Kamala Harris at the Naval Observatory.
A second time I went to the White House where I got to shake President Biden's hand.
What an incredible incredible honor.

Who could have imagined stuff like this for me.

Getting an invite to the White House.

Meeting the President of the US

Just how awesome is that!!

I graduate from UC Berkeley

I'm a college graduate in year 2022. It feels so good. This was a kid that was not even expected to get a high school diploma. My lot was to be in special education and not aspire for much more. Education was the candy in the candy store with me firmly told to be outside.


This was a degree ++ with dollops of unexpected extra bonuses. I absolutely am relishing it.

How awesome is this?

I am just so darn proud of that yearned for degree

Young man, you must be doing some stuff right.

Cuz. along with degree there was even more

Additional appreciation in the most unexpected forms.

University Medal Finalist, I sit on Commencement stage with Chancellor & a Nobel Laureate

Departmental Citation, I give the Department Commencement Speech

Highest Distinction (other universities call this Summa Cum Laude)

Phi Beta Kappa, Psi Chi and 4.0 GPA

Awesome icing on a Berkeley degree

Undergraduate Research

As a Haas Scholar I not only got funding and mentoring for a year long research but I got to be part of a sagacious community, amongst aspiring change makers in myriad fields. The research was so varied and interesting and I listened in awe as students presented on topics from illegal trash dumping in Oakland to Prison Reform to circular RNA and the spread of dengue virus.

A special shout out to Leah Carroll who runs and is the glue that holds the Haas Scholars program together. She kept us to timelines and managed resources to help us get our resource done. And there was a lot of resource management logistics involved, like getting those participant gift cards out through Bear Buy.

I presented my research at 2 Academic Colloquia (Jan & April), and a SPSS (Society for Personality and Social Psychology) Poster Presentation in Feb. And I continue to work with Prof Keltner to get 2 papers (on awe and empathy) to publication.

I had a wonderful an encouraging mentor for my research in Prof Dacher Keltner.

How awesome is it...

...to research awe in autistics

....be mentored by an expert in the science of awe. 

Just how awesome is that?

Senior Honors Thesis

This research was also part of my Senior Honors Thesis. Every week I sat with my fellow students in the Honors class lead by Prof Linda Wilbrecht. I learned about what my fellow psychology students researched. I was surrounded by fellow researchers both within and outside the field of psychology.

I submitted my thesis on awe to the department in April - all 66 pages of it.

This was a faculty comment about my thesis

- This is truly an excellent honors thesis! The research topic is incredibly important and interesting, and it is unique to probe the autistic experience of awe in comparison with that of neurotypical individuals. The results are very cool, interesting, and complex. Although this is brand new research and more empirical data are needed, the preliminary results, which argue against the emotion deficit view of autistic individuals, are potentially groundbreaking. I hope you will pursue this work further and I hope we will see the work published in a psychology journal in the near future.

How awesome is that?

I think back to when early educators did not want me in their classrooms and every evaluation report and IEPs were a litany of my "lack of accomplishments," or "lack of progress." In fact during my first special ed kindergarten placement, the teacher sent home a note which essentially said that she was concerned at my lack of progress in the first 6 weeks in her classroom. This was to be a repeated story in the all the multiple special ed classrooms I was shuffled around in. 

Think, just how awesome it is for me now, to get comments from educators that rate me as excellent. I'm so so relishing it. 

Autism Decal

Spring semester was my 7th and final semester of Autism Decal. Creation of this impactful class at Berkeley is one of my proudest accomplishments during my undergrad. Just how awesome is it to hear that material from this class was influencing a grad student in Europe in her research. A class that grew from 17 to 50. It even was honored with mention on a US President (President Obama's) Instagram. Just too Awesome. 

The Daily Californian

I wrote my last column for the Daily Cal and waxed nostalgic (understandably).

What a wonderful experience Berkeley has been for me. It was my Golden Bear Song.

PD Soros Fellowship.

I got the call on Jan 7 from Daisy Soros - I'm a PD Soros Fellow. This is a very prestigious fellowship and the chances of getting in were slim. So to get through was rather surreal. 
The news was only to be released in April when 30 scholars graced a full page of the New York Times.

The fellows met at a 4 day conference extravaganza in New York in October.
Daisy Soros sure is a powerhouse at 94 - I am in awe!!
We fellows chatted, met with famous alum, toured New York and more - the Met, a Broadway musical, a Jazz club and a formal cocktail hosted by Daisy Soros. The conference sure was a lifetime experience and what an amazing cohort to be in.

Getting into Grad School

I'd applied to grad school last fall.

Results in early spring.

Decision deadline Apr 15.

Headed to Vanderbilt for a PhD in Neuroscience in Fall.

Can you believe this guy from grade 8 special ed now actually headed to grad school?

Media Coverage

There was a ton of media coverage around the PD Soros fellowship, my Berkeley graduation and Vanderbilt grad school admission.

I got multiple mentions in various UC Berkeley sites. Daily Cal covered me (a turnaround as I usually write the articles). I even made it to an article in Forbes. There was coverage in many Indian American newspapers and at Vanderbilt too.

All the coverage felt a little overwhelming yet I am totally grateful for all this acknowledgment of my accomplishments. (It helps counter the years and years of trauma build up with the reports of, will never amount to anything, claims)

From California to Tennessee. 

Grad School has meant a move across the country from Berkeley CA to Nashville TN.
It is a new place to adjust too! Transition and autism are not the best of bedfellows. 

I miss the extracurriculars and friends back home. I miss the view of the Bay and Golden Gate Bridge from my California bedroom window. 

It's pretty hot here in summer, a little too hot. But it's also green and lush with lots of rain. The grass is green even in winter due to the rain. Rain-starved California sure could use some of this rain (just not this week as I hear there are Bay Area mudslides due to heavy rains!!). 

I'm not missing the annual wildfire smoke of California. One year the sky turned orange from the smoke and the entire town of Paradise was burnt down. And looks like I narrowly missed some recent big earthquakes in the Bay Area. 

But there are other natural disasters to content with here - like my first tornado spent anxiously in the basement. What if you are traveling on an open road?

Winter is wet and cold with some snow. I'm not so sure I like this level of cold. I experienced my first snow and was housebound for 4-5 days over the winter break till the slick black ice on roads melted away. Being housebound for even a few days was a little scary but of course it's nothing compared to the plight of folks caught in the Buffalo snow blizzard.

Nature is lovely here - a walk in the nearby Percy-Warner park under the shade of the massive trees reminded me of the tall redwoods in Yosemite. The best part is the daily wildlife show. People travel to see such shows. Turkey and deer grace my backyard, with the occasional fox. I watched baby deer frolic around and grow into adults. Myriad birds perch and practice birdsong on the woody vines that hangs from the tall trees. Wildlife with a backdrop of tall lush trees in summer, changing leaf colors in fall and the snow clad barren trees of winter are awesome sights to see.

Nashville is Music City and I hope to get to experience some of that music soon.....

Grad School @Vanderbilt from Fall 

• Grad School orientation
• A Lab Coat Ceremony with my own Personalized Lab Coat
• A Neuroscience Retreat
• Lab Rotation at SENSE (Social Emotional Neuroscience Endocrinology) Lab
• Participate in the SENSE Theatre workshop. 
• An own office space at the research lab with my name on the door. 
• NISE Fellow at the Frist Center for Autism and Innovation at Vanderbilt.
• Did well on the academic front (Synesthesia, Multisensory Integration)

 
Survived first semester.....

A huge change, transitions that quite make the head spin.
Still adjusting, lots of figuring out left to do... a work in progress the next few years.
Fingers crossed that my unpredictable autism challenges let me travel this journey well.
And make useful contributions along the way.


But really, just how awesome has this year been?

Vacations

Got to visit Italy; Florence and Venice & Tuscany countryside over Spring Break. 

India over the summer for my cousin Ved's Poonal ceremony

Memphis over Thanksgiving break. 

And the 2 DC Trips and the NY Trip. 

Hope for an (equally) awesome 2023

I wonder what 2023 will bring?
In the Possibility of Me?

Dare I hope from others
....Surrounded by folks who are patient, encouraging & empathic of my disability
... Make kind friends outside the classroom


Slow purposeful strides, an elephant I want to be.
... Relish learning and knowledge coupled with endless curiosity
... Use Advocacy & Research to add more pebbles that widen ripples in the pond of change.
... Giant leaps on the journey to emotional equanimity (mood continues to be tough nut)
... Learn to better manage & cope with the vagaries of my unpredictable disability which can feel like a leaky boat. 

Wishing everyone an 

AWESOME 2023 full of POSSIBILITY

Snow gone but deer here

Snow covered foliage for few days with snowfall on Dec 23 and then again on Dec 26. Though the snow had started to melt, housebound as roads were still slick with black ice from melting snow. Finally able to venture out. 

I can't even begin to imagine places like Buffalo, NY which are still heavily snow-bound. 

Snow gone but the deer are still here. 

#Nashville #deer

First Nashville Snow

First snow in Nashville in my PhD journey at Vanderbilt University

Saw 4 deer (including a baby deer) early morning munching on twigs amongst the leafless snow laden trees. Apparently, deer like to hunker down to keep warm as the baby deer is doing.

28K folks without power in Nashville. Wind seems a common factor behind power cuts. In CA it was wind + wildfires, here its wind + snow. Surely electricity tech should have the wind part figured out by now instead of rinse repeat each year.

The power went off briefly at my place, but in that 15 mins, the inside temperature dropped by 1 degree. Fingers crossed to escape further power cuts. It is cold. Nice from the inside (its winter break) but it's -1F (-18 C) outside.

Ventured outside for a bit in yard,
windy, pretty and cold despite layers.

Snowfall

Snowfall in the darkness of night

Green grass out of sight in morning light

A blanket of winter white on the ground.

Leafless snow laden trees, a background

Undeterred deer saunter around

Munching twigs quite nonchalantly

Baby deer hunker on the ground... to keep warm

Brown fur contrasts on the white ground.

Fresh powder snow so pure and bright

A winter's delight for the eyes.

But when it hardens and turns to black ice

Beware, for it can be a dangerous drive.

Housebound for 3 days...Winter break, so ok.

Severe Weather Warning. Round 2

Last time it was a tornado which was during the day. Wonder what tonite will bring? 

 

Dear Vanderbilt Students,

Severe weather is predicted for the Nashville area this evening (Tuesday, November 29) and into tomorrow morning (Wednesday, November 30). Thunderstorms are most likely between 7:00 p.m. on Tuesday evening and 3:00 a.m. Wednesday morning. Possible hazards include damaging winds, tornados, flash flooding, and large hail.

Please monitor the weather forecast and be cautious as you navigate campus and the surrounding area. The Vanderbilt Severe Weather Warning System will be activated if a tornado is detected and is forecasted to reach campus within 15 minutes. If you hear the sirens or receive AlertVU notices, warn others of the severe weather conditions and follow the procedures listed in the Tornado Emergency Guide.

Please review the University’s Emergency Preparedness website for more information about severe weather.

Stay safe,

Student Affairs

In Tordano Country

In Tornado country

Tornadoes twist and turn

Nature's fury unleashed

A dance of destruction

As homes and lives are breached

They roar across the land

Leaving a path of despair

In their wake, broken dreams

And a sense of overwhelming fear

But even as they devastate

They also have a strange allure

A force of nature's power

That we can't help but endure

So we watch with awe and fear

As tornadoes touch the ground

A reminder of the forces

That constantly swirl around

We can only stand in wonder

At their raw and primal might

And hope that we are spared

Their destructive flight

========

Today was very unnerving experience for sure.

Emergency Tornado Alert.

Sat in basement with a helmet on. Channel 5 live updates said rotation part turned into "just" a thunderstorm before it hit our area. Still heavy rains and hail nearby.

Guess not making it to college autism summit session today.
Warning came as just about to leave, phones screeching with alert. Lucky was not on road.

Violators Toad

Interesting word play at yesterday's Nelson Andrews Leadership retreat site for the Vanderbilt Neuroscience Retreat. 

Have to wonder what the toads (Bufonidae) there think?

Violators, a new species of toad?

Neuroscience Retreat

Vanderbilt Neuroscience Graduate Program retreat. 

Day started with Hippocampal Place Cells and included a walk by Percy Priest Lake

A Vandy welcome to Nashville

 

A Vandy welcome to Nashville at the airport. 

How Two Mischievous Deer and a Fawn took over a backyard!

(a humorous skit on the backyard deer seen in from my Nashville home)

How Two Mischievous Deer and a Fawn took over a backyard!

One sunny afternoon, two majestic deer with large antlers, Antler McDeerface and Staggy McStagface, stepped out of the woods to grub on some clover grass in somebody's backyard.