This incredible TIME piece by Hari Srinivasan beautifully articulates so many of the complicated feelings I have about my son’s journey to independence.

“Addressing the loneliness epidemic in the disabled community necessitates a nuanced understanding of independence because in actuality, all humans live in a cycle of dependency. The perceived division between independence and dependence is a flawed notion. Embracing this truth could pave the way for a more inclusive society that transcends the limitations of societal norms and helps us build better support systems that result in enduring human social connections for people with autism.”


Isolation is a critical issue for Autistic adults

The pervasive loneliness of Autism https://time.com/6551520/loneliness-autism-essay/

Sometimes, an article gets published that impacts me deeply on a personal level. Such is the case with this amazing article in Time magazine from the brilliant Hari Srinivasan

It opens: "Loneliness has long been a pervasive issue within the disability community, growing even more pronounced as individuals age...Ironically, relentlessly pursuing a disabled person’s greatest sign of “success”—independence—might be the very thing that’s setting many Autistics on a path towards profound loneliness and fragmented relationships."

Isolation is a critical issue for Autistic adults. It is often exacerbated by the pressure to "become an adult" and "live independently". Yet, Autistic individuals often find that their families are their only real support, but that societal norms stigmatize adults living with family.

Independence is a myth we are taught to chase in America when what we should be seeking to teach is interdependence.

No human lives independently. We all rely on other humans to get our needs and wants met. Whether we are talking about hiring an accountant to do your taxes, dropping your car off for an oil change, or having a person to assist with meal planning, it is all interdependence.

While striving for autonomy in adulthood is vital, it's also crucial to balance it with support and meaningful relationships with others. Acknowledging our innately human interdependent nature is essential if we intend to foster a more inclusive society for Autistics.

I highly recommend reading Hari's full piece below.


consequences of a fixed message

The Pervasive Loneliness of Autism https://time.com/6551520/loneliness-autism-essay/

As always, I am so grateful for Hari’s wisdom and insights. As someone who stands in front of thousands of people a year, and talks about the need to foster and support independence, I am bowled over by the very real consequence of that fixed message. The singular goal of independence can, along with other factors, lead to the experience of profound loneliness. Rather than a focus on independence, the true focus should be on balance. Hari said it best with “But it’s also essential to recognize that advocating for meaningful connections and a more balanced approach to independence does not diminish the importance of autonomy. Striking a balance between independence and support is crucial for the well-being of autistic individuals.” Thank you, Hari Srinivasan, for yet another profound learning opportunity.


 

Strength Spotting Saturday

I was spotlighted along with some rather kind words by an org today on social media 


It's Strength Spotting Saturday, and today we're spotlighting Hari Srinivasan!

🌟Perspective - Mr. Srinivasan graciously shares his view of the world in a manner that is accessible to the general public. His contributions to the widely distributed Time Magazine increase the understanding and awareness of his lived experience.

🌟Perseverance - The achievements in scholarship demonstrated by Mr. Srinivasan are demonstrative of his perseverance. Honors in his undergraduate program at the University of California Berkeley and entrance into the prestigious neuroscience program at Vanderbilt University as a doctoral candidate are just a few of his achievements in higher education.

🌟Judgment - Mr. Srinivasan serves in many advisory roles, including membership of the Interagency Autism Coordinating Committee, which advises federal policy and priorities, and on the Council of Autistics Advisors for the Autism Society of America. In these roles, he adeptly views different opinions and weighs the evidence to guide decision-making for the betterment of the autism community.






Rethinking Autonomy and Connection in Autism

Rethinking Autonomy and Connection in Autism

Today I read a compelling Time Magazine article by Hari Srinivasan that challenges our perceptions of independence and social connection in the context of autism. Two points particularly stood out for me:

Cultural Views on Independence: Srinivasan discusses the societal disapproval in the U.S. of adults living with their biological families. This contrasts with practices in other cultures and raises questions about the ideal of "independent living," which often leads to autistic individuals living away from their families, supported instead by paid staff.

Desire for Connection: Srinivasan also addresses a common misconception about autistic individuals: the need for breaks from overwhelming sensory inputs is often mistaken for a disinterest in social connections. This point emphasizes how important it is to recognize autistic individuals desire enduring human relationships.

These insights are crucial for fostering a more inclusive and understanding society. It's time to redefine our views on independence and social connections, especially in the context of autism.

 

Relationship as a building block

Time: The Pervasive Loneliness of Autism https://time.com/6551520/loneliness-autism-essay/

I've had the privilege of listening to Hari Srinivasan share his perspective on various topics over the years. His ability to share his personal narrative paired with the current science is an incredible gift. As Mr. Srinivasan shares, "All humans, disabled or not, yearn for human connections that enrich their lives beyond a mere fulfillment of basic needs." Indeed relationship is one of the building blocks of the PERMA+ theory of wellbeing (R=Relationships). Like Mr. Srinivasan, I too am looking to Vivek Murthy and his wisdom to help us all with his wise words, including, "While loneliness has the potential to kill, connection has even more potential to heal." Here's to 2024 being a year of connection.
#wellbeingwins


My other list of Publications: https://uniquelyhari.blogspot.com/p/published-work.html

Societal Ideal of Independence

Independence = overrated! So many great points @TIME piece @HariSri108 

'The societal ideal of independent living for [#autistic people] translates to living apart from...family + being surrounded instead by a series of paid support staff' 

https://time.com/6551520/loneliness-autism-essay/



Ed Roberts Day

Ed Roberts Day, celebrated annually on January 23rd, marks a significant moment to reflect on the extraordinary life and enduring legacy of a trailblazer in disability rights. Ed Roberts, an alumnus of the University of California, Berkeley, was not just a figurehead but a formidable force in the movement for the rights and recognition of people with disabilities.

Born in 1939, Roberts' journey into activism began with his personal battle with polio at the age of 14. Despite being paralyzed from the neck down and dependent on a respirator, his indomitable spirit led him to challenge societal norms and barriers. His admission to UC Berkeley in 1962 marked the beginning of a transformative era, both for himself and for the university.

At Berkeley, a place known for its spirit of revolution and change, Roberts ignited a movement that would reshape the landscape of disability rights. He became the first student with severe disabilities to attend the university, living in Cowell Hospital (now the site of Haas Business School) since the dorms were not accessible. This experience was not just a testament to his resilience, but also a stark indicator of the need for systemic change.

Roberts' most notable accomplishment was the founding of the Physically Disabled Students Program (PDSP), the first program of its kind in the country. This initiative, which began as a small, student-led effort, evolved into the Disabled Students' Program, a model replicated by universities and colleges nationwide. The program not only provided essential services but also fostered a community and a sense of belonging among disabled students, offering academic guidance, peer support, and advocacy.

Beyond Berkeley, Roberts' impact continued to grow. He became a key figure in the independent living movement, advocating for policies and practices that promoted autonomy and equality for people with disabilities. His work culminated in the development of the Berkeley Center for Independent Living, a groundbreaking model for disability services and advocacy.

Ed Roberts' life is a beacon of inspiration, demonstrating the power of resilience, advocacy, and the relentless pursuit of equality. His legacy at UC Berkeley and beyond continues to resonate, reminding us of our collective responsibility to build a more inclusive and equitable world. Ed Roberts Day is not just a commemoration but a call to action, a day to honor a visionary leader and to recommit ourselves to the principles he championed.

A cycle of dependency

Congratulations. Hari. This is such a moving piece that sheds light on the unspoken experience many endure. I love how you conclude with "...in actuality, all humans live in a cycle of dependency. The perceived division between independence and dependence is a flawed notion." 

9 inches of snow

This is really crazy. Nashville got 9 inches of snow (normal is 1-2 inches). 
To add to the drama was that we were traveling back from India and the house was inaccessible as its on a steep hill. The innocent looking snow clad road is actually slick ice so any cars attempting to go up would just slide downhill. 

The short of it. Had to park at the bottom of the hill walk up the hill dragging our luggage with the help of our super nice neighbor Josh. 
But walking up not a pleasant experience and bitter cold. Why does the city not clear the side streets as well as the main roads. 

 

 

Dominant Discourses

Terrific piece, Hari!  I really appreciated reading it, and I hope there will be more conversations about dominant discourses about "independence" an entirely Western construction, which should be problematized at so many levels.



My other articles in Time: https://time.com/author/hari-srinivasan/

The ideal of independence



Essential piece by@harisri108 about autism and loneliness. By making "independence" the platonic ideal for all people, it can wind up breeding the type of loneliness that can harm #ActuallyAutistic people. via
@time

https://time.com/author/hari-srinivasan/