O friend

Today I got a email offering an appointment to the Scientific Committee of the 14th Autism Europe Congress 2025 to be held in Dublin, Ireland. The Autism Europe Congress is a triennial scientific conference bringing together stakeholders to discuss autism research. 

What I  especially loved was that the email started with "A chara" (a traditional opening to an Irish letter – translating as “O Friend”) and ended with "Mise leas mise" (a traditional closing to an Irish letter – translating as “It is I, with respect”). 

It is so affirmative and speaks to connections filled with kindness, which all of us need a lot more of. Will definitely be contemplating on those phrases more. Parallels to Metta (Buddhist), Kalyanamastu (Sanskrit), Ofa Lahi Atu (Tongan), Ubuntu (Bantu) or a new word I came across recently Takiwatanga (the Maori word for autism, which roughly means "in our own space and time").

Compassion is the balm that soothes the wounds of the world

Towards a more Humane Society. Contemplating an emotion, 1 line a day. 

Our divided and conflicted world needs compassion more than ever.  #MentalHealth. 

 

Ofa Lahi Atu

"Ofa lahi atu" is a phrase in Tongan that is often used to express deep love and respect.

The literal English translation of "Ofa lahi atu" is "much love to you", but its meaning goes beyond the words themselves. In Tongan culture, the expression is often used to convey a sense of gratitude, humility, and reverence for others, nature, and the divine.

In a philosophical sense, "Ofa lahi atu" can be understood as a recognition of the underlying unity and interdependence of all things. It suggests that love and respect are not only essential for personal relationships but also for the harmonious functioning of society and the natural world.

The phrase "Ofa lahi atu" can be relevant in the context of autism and disability by emphasizing the importance of love, respect, and interconnectedness. People with disabilities, including autistics, often face social, emotional, and physical challenges that can make them feel isolated and marginalized.

By expressing and acting with a feeling of "Ofa lahi atu" towards autistics, society can convey deep love and respect for autistics, affirm their dignity and worth as human beings. remind us that our interconnectedness extends beyond our immediate social circles and includes all.  It can inspire us to work towards creating a more inclusive and supportive society that values diversity, promotes empathy, and fosters mutual understanding.

Groups in the autism space community too needs to express and act with a mindset of “Ofa lahi atu’ towards each other, instead of the current vicious bickering between polarized groups of “who has the loudest voice” and undermining other groups. We can recognize each others unique strengths, be accepting of all challenges methodologies, and perspectives and work towards solutions that address a wide range of needs.

Spoon Theory and Autism

Spoon theory,  to elucidate the finite physical and emotional energy reserves available to individuals with disabilities or chronic illnesses. This model employs "spoons" as units representing a person's daily energy capacity, where each activity—ranging from basic self-care to complex tasks—consumes a certain number of spoons. Individuals with disabilities must strategically allocate their limited spoons to avoid energy depletion.

Spoon theory is a metaphor used to describe the  physical and emotional energy reserves available to individuals with disabilities. The theory was created by Christine Miserandino, a woman with lupus, to help explain to her friend what it was like to live with a chronic illness. 

This model employs "spoons" as units representing a person's daily energy capacity, where each activity—ranging from basic self-care to complex tasks—consumes a certain number of spoons. Individuals with disabilities must strategically allocate/budget their limited spoons to avoid energy depletion.

The theory has become a popular way for people with disabilities to explain their experiences to others, and it has also helped to raise awareness about the challenges faced on a daily basis. It also emphasizes the need for empathy and understanding towards people who may be struggling with challenges that affect their ability to function in day-to-day life.

In the context of autism, spoon theory provides a valuable lens for understanding the heightened energy demands associated with sensory processing difficulties and social interactions. Autistics often experience sensory overload from everyday stimuli, necessitating significant cognitive and emotional resources to manage these inputs. Consequently, routine activities such as grocery shopping or attending social events can rapidly deplete their energy reserves. These experiences can be likened to using up spoons, or units of energy, more quickly than someone without sensory processing issues might.

Additionally, social interaction can also be a source of stress and exhaustion for people with autism. Social situations can require a lot of cognitive processing and emotional regulation, which can also deplete one's energy reserves.  This metaphor underscores the need for empathy and tailored support strategies, recognizing the unique challenges faced by autistic individuals in energy management. 

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2 versions of this post

For Scientific/Academic Audience

PlainSpeak in plain language for lay audience