Self Consciousness

Self-consciousness refers to a psychological state in which an person is aware of themselves as a distinct entity, separate from their surroundings, and possesses a sense of self-awareness. It involves the ability to reflect upon and recognize one's thoughts, emotions, and actions, as well as to perceive oneself as an object of observation and evaluation by others.

Self-consciousness is a fundamental aspect of human cognition and plays a significant role in shaping our experiences, behavior, and social interactions. It is believed to emerge during early childhood as part of the development of self-identity and continues to evolve throughout a person's lifetime

Self-consciousness encompasses various aspects, including self-perception, self-reflection, self-evaluation, and self-awareness. It involves the ability to introspect and engage in self-analysis, examining one's thoughts, beliefs, desires, and intentions. It also entails being aware of one's own body and physical presence in space.

Self-consciousness also involves a social dimension, as individuals may become aware of how they are perceived by others and adjust their behavior accordingly. This can lead to feelings of self-consciousness in social situations, where people may feel concerned about being judged or evaluated by others.

While self-consciousness can influence self-esteem, they are separate concepts. Self-consciousness refers to the awareness of oneself, while self-esteem relates to one's evaluation and feelings of self-worth. 

Research suggests atypical self-consciousness in autism. 

• This study examined self-referential cognition and empathy in individuals with autism using self-report questionnaires. The findings suggested that autistics may have reduced self-referential processing and difficulties with empathy (1)
• Using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), this study investigated self-referential processing . The results indicated altered neural activation in brain regions associated with self-representation, suggesting atypical self-consciousness in autism (2).
• This longitudinal study explored self-recognition and self-consciousness in children with autism using tasks such as mirror self-recognition and pretend play. The findings suggested delayed development of self-recognition and reduced engagement in pretend play in children with autism (3).
• This review article proposed the social motivation theory of autism, which emphasizes the influence of altered self-consciousness on social behavior and social cognition in autistics. It provides insights into how self-consciousness is linked to the broader social challenges observed in autism (4).

As always research on autism is not set in stone and is still evolving.

ASQ: Ages and Stages Questionnaires

The Ages and Stages Questionnaires (ASQ) is a developmental screening tool designed to assess the developmental progress of children from birth to 5 years of age.

The ASQ is a parent-reported questionnaire that assesses various domains of child development, including communication, fine and gross motor skills, problem-solving, personal-social skills, and adaptive behaviors. It is used to identify potential developmental delays or concerns and determine the need for further evaluation or intervention.

Limitations of the ASQ include the reliance on parent-reported information, which may be subject to biases or inaccuracies.

Scoring and Interpretation:
The ASQ uses a scoring system based on the number and nature of items that the child has achieved. Each item is scored as "yes," "sometimes," or "not yet." The scores are used to identify potential developmental concerns or delays. There are established cutoff scores for each age-specific questionnaire that help determine if further evaluation or intervention is needed.

The ASQ was developed by Jane Squires and Diane Bricker in the 1990s.

Citation:
Squires, J., & Bricker, D. (2009). Ages & Stages Questionnaires®, Third Edition (ASQ-3™). Baltimore, MD: Brookes Publishing.

A Highly Sensitive Person

A Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) 

"Sensitivity is a heightened 'ability to .... to one’s environment'"

"I often complain about sounds, smells, or tastes that don’t seem to bother those around me..

Does that sound like Deja vu for the sensory overstimulated autistic?  

Read more in this Greater Good Science Center article.

STAT: Screening Tool for Autism in Toddlers and Young Children

The Screening Tool for Autism in Toddlers and Young Children (STAT) is a play-based screening measure designed to identify early signs of autism  in toddlers and young children. It t assesses social communication and play behaviors associated with ASD in children between 24 and 36 months of age.

Limitations

The STAT is a screening tool and not a diagnostic instrument. A comprehensive evaluation by a qualified professional is necessary for a definitive autism diagnosis.

Scoring and Interpretation
The STAT includes a series of play-based activities and social interactions between the child and the examiner. The examiner observes and scores the child's behaviors in different domains, such as joint attention, pretend play, and social responsiveness.

The STAT scoring involves rating specific behaviors observed during the play-based interactions. The scoring criteria may vary depending on the specific version or adaptation of the STAT being used. There are established cutoff scores that help identify children who may be at risk for ASD and require further evaluation by a qualified professional.

History and Revisions:
The STAT was developed by Wendy Stone, Barry L. Prizant, and Samuel P. Openden in 2008. 

Citation:
Stone, W. L., Prizant, B. M., & Openden, S. (2008). The Screening Tool for Autism in Toddlers and Young Children (STAT). Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/228625486_STAT_Screening_Tool_for_Autism_in_Toddlers_and_Young_Children

See posts on Screening/Diagnostic Measures

SCQ - Social Communication Questionnaire

The Social Communication Questionnaire (SCQ) is a caregiver-reported questionnaire that evaluates social communication and interaction patterns in individuals suspected of being autistic. It was derived from the Autism Diagnostic Interview-Revised (ADI-R). It is designed for use with children and adults who have a mental age [see post on why "mental age" is problematic] of at least 2 years and 6 months. It is often used as a screening tool in clinical and research settings. [See posts on other Screening/Diagnostic Measures].

Limitations:

• The SCQ is a screening tool and should not be used as a standalone diagnostic instrument. A comprehensive evaluation by a trained clinician using multiple assessment methods is necessary for a formal autism diagnosis.
• Co-occurring Conditions: Many individuals with ASD may have co-occurring conditions such as intellectual disabilities, language impairments, ADHD, anxiety, or sensory processing difficulties. The SCQ focuses specifically on social communication and interaction and may not fully capture the range of challenges associated with co-occurring conditions such as language challenges, ADHD, anxiety or sensory processing.
• Caregiver reports are subject to biases and inaccuracies, as they rely on the caregiver's observations and interpretations of the individual's behaviors.
• Caregivers' ability to accurately report on specific social communication behaviors and experiences of nonspeaking autistics may be limited.
• The SCQ is not designed to assess other developmental disabilities apart from ASD.

A book of Awe

 

Finally..... my copy arrived. Amazon lost my original order, this is a 2nd one. 

Dacher's work is the definitive research on awe. 

And my undergrad research was on awe. 

Looking forward to reading. 

Doomscrolling

Came across a new term, rather a term that's been around for a while.

Doomscrolling is the act of compulsively scrolling through negative news or social media feeds, often for hours at a time, despite feeling upset or stressed by the content. The term "doomscrolling" gained popularity during the COVID-19 pandemic, as people spent more time online and were inundated with a constant stream of alarming news about the virus and its effects. This behavior can lead to feelings of anxiety, hopelessness, and helplessness, as well as difficulty sleeping and concentrating

 So it became this "vicious cycle  in which users find themselves get stuck in a pattern of seeking negative information no matter how bad the news is." 

It does not help that, online/social media algorithms are designed to feed us "attention-capturing" information and give us more of whatever we had clicked on. The result was a newsfeed of endless doom, which could trigger more compulsive scrolling behavior. 

The disabled/autistic are equally vulnerable to these influences, further compounding our mental health issues. 

Here is a research paper on this. 

Doomscrolling Scale: its Association with Personality Traits, Psychological Distress, Social Media Use, and Wellbeing
Satici SA, Gocet Tekin E, Deniz ME, Satici B. Doomscrolling Scale: its Association with Personality Traits, Psychological Distress, Social Media Use, and Wellbeing. Appl Res Qual Life. 2022 Oct 19:1-15. doi: 10.1007/s11482-022-10110-7. Epub ahead of print. PMID: 36275044; PMCID: PMC9580444.

Changes in Big-5 during Pandemic

I always think of the exponential effects on autistics. 

https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/pandemic-altered-personalities-more-neurotic-less-agreeable-rcna49595

"NBC News reported on a study published in PLOS ONE that indicated that personality changes from January 2021 to February 2022 were roughly equal to what’s normally a decade’s worth of incremental personality changes. Although people often become less neurotic, extroverted, and open as they age, adults under 30 saw a significant increase in neuroticism over the study period. Neuroticism “is a very consistent predictor of mental health outcomes like depression and anxiety,” said the study’s lead author, Angelina Sutin, PhD, a personality psychologist at the Florida State University College of Medicine."
(https://view.info.apa.org/?qs=ab2c9530baf7a6ce1051f3f9254b1595fbcf171f4a81ad3eed135b5a5f2cec4508d1f4b727d406c0bea89be99e8df4a9ad7fee31eba4572980be2e27faddf3b287ffdd23c1cb6fc2f324d4ab0e197f72)

Psychology Commencement

Berkeley Psychology Commencement. I got the department citation and gave a speech. 

 

Berkeley Psychology Commencement

I got the Departmental Citation Award which came with the privilege of giving a commencement speech.

First 2 sentences and last sentence are in "my own voice")

Video excerpt includes intro about me by faculty (I hardly recognize myself!!), my talk and also the keynote speech by Prof Keltner where I got 2x mention. 

Clip of just my talk. 

https://youtu.be/ES3VSf_0zJg

With Prof Hinshaw and Prof Keltner

With Professor Linda Wilbrecht

 

Calbear becomes a grad - Commencement

 

Receiving Cert of Distinction from Chancellor Carol Christ

Highlights I'm at 0:31 seconds

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbVwvEqcQuk 

The four finalists

The Haas Scholars logo on the stole

my fellow Haas Scholar Johan

At the university club on top of Memorial Stadium

(incredible view of the bay)

View from where I was seated on stage. 

I'm on from 1:25-1:27 https://youtu.be/1ePTPC4AC80

https://news.berkeley.edu/2022/05/14/chancellor-christ-to-graduates-this-is-a-time-of-creative-ferment/

https://news.berkeley.edu/2022/05/14/keynote-speaker-to-grads-we-win-if-your-mind-is-stretched-but-not-filled/

My berkeley experience not complete without my best buddy David

Last Column

My LAST COLUMN for the Daily Cal

Full article:  https://www.dailycal.org/2022/05/13/a-golden-bear-song/

I realized what defined my undergrad experience was not only recognizing some of these opportunities but that it was the support and encouragement at Berkeley that gave me the confidence to pursue them.

I never felt impostor syndrome at UC Berkeley. Rather it was whether I, as a disabled student, would even be allowed access to the opportunities college offers. ....
For much of my life, my disability has meant significant gatekeeping of opportunities. Would I be allowed to thrive here?

....

“Education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel,” said Socrates.

Most importantly, my UC Berkeley education kindled the Socratic flame, inspiring me to study what I am passionate about along with new kinds of experiences and knowledge. (Speaking of new experiences, I even got to model for the Cal Student Store. Who would have thought of “Model Hari”?)

“Life is full of change and uncertainty and that’s what makes it a great adventure,” Filippenko said at the lecture.

I am both nervous and excited about what’s ahead. As the Bhagavad Gita explains, change is the only constant in our lives, and one is better off focusing on the action (the sure) and not the results (the unsure). Inaction is not an option.

The Gita also points out that results do not solely depend on my actions. I hope the next stage of my educational journey will be one filled with kindness, compassion, patience and empathy from others and one of personal, endless curiosity and positive action so I can continue to learn and add those pebbles that widen the ripples in the pond of knowledge and change.

Last Day of Undergrad classes

 

The very last class: Haas Scholars Seminar

Thesis Submission

My year long research, my undergrad Honors capstone research as a Haas Scholar, was finally submitted this morning. 

All 66 pages of it.....

This is what the cover page looks like. 

I got covered by Berkeley Grad Diversity

I got covered by Grad Diversity 

Full article: https://grad.berkeley.edu/news/announcements/a-thirst-for-education-and-autism-advocacy/

“Though it was a sense of duty that initially drew me to participate in GiGS as a mentor, it has been my absolute privilege to know Hari and be a small support in his journey to graduate school. I am positive he will accomplish wonderful things at Vanderbilt and beyond.” Lindsey Burnside. Hari's GiGs mentor

...

Hari is very clear about what drives his passion for higher education. “A college degree and above is what gets you a seat at the table, where you get to be part of the conversion about who gets access to spaces, funding, and resources. If we want to see change, belonging, acceptance, and other solutions for autistics, we need to see more autistics in higher ed. And we need to see all profiles of autistics, including the most marginalized autistics, for this change to be meaningful.”

But for Hari, just having a seat at the table is not enough. “I want to be able to redefine the table itself, whether it’s academically or in advocacy. A fair and inclusive world does not just have to be a myth. We need to work actively to make the possibility a reality. Everyone deserves the same opportunity of education, inclusion, and belonging.”

Daily Cal covers me

 In an about turn, I'm being written about by someone else at the Daily Cal. 

Daily Californian: UC Berkeley wins Soros Fellowship to pursue PhD. 

Full article: https://www.dailycal.org/2022/04/25/uc-berkeley-senior-hari-srinivasan-wins-soros-fellowship-to-pursue-ph-d/

At Berkeley, Srinivasan has already been conducting undergraduate research in the area of autism as a Haas scholar, according to Haas Scholars program manager and advisor Leah Caroll. Caroll said Srinivasan has looked specifically at how those with autism process emotions differently from non-autistics. In doing so, he has broken down common stereotypes about those with the disability, she added.

“It’s interesting that his scholarship is in itself a form of activism,” Caroll said.

In addition to writing more than 50 articles for The Daily Californian, Srinivasan is a member of Phi Beta Kappa and Psi Chi, leads a DeCal dedicated to educating peers about autism and serves as a national activist for policy reform surrounding disabilities, according to Caroll.

Caroll added that despite his commitments, Srinivasan goes out of his way to help his peers in the Haas Scholars program.

“He’s been extraordinarily generous with his time and expertise,” Caroll said. “He’s taught everyone about different ways of communicating.”

==========

https://flipboard.com/@thedailycal/news-0brl6vv8z/uc-berkeley-senior-hari-srinivasan-wins-soros-fellowship-to-pursue-ph-d/a-A5xuoZcdTBi5nARLAlHynw%3Aa%3A2444082641-b8f0e80a36%2Fdailycal.org

Departmental Citation

An honor. Thank you Professor Dacher Keltner for nominating me.

More than anything, it is super humbling to be recognized by educators, who actually help enable my success through their support and empathy.

The Departmental Citation Award was initiated in 1955 by the Committee on Prizes to recognize distinguished undergraduate work in each department. The Departmental Citation is awarded to the top undergraduate in the Psychology Department based on all aspects of academic life including: research, coursework, writing, and service to the university.

Stoked to join the ranks of PD Soros Fellows

 #redefinethetable #redefine_the_table #autism #disability

image 2
There are likely to be additional roadblocks to higher education when you are a new american and a disabled new american at that. Know that your life too has worth!! Instead of an unmapped path, think of it as a journey of discovery. The opportunity of higher education means not just the chance to get a seat at the table and make contributions to the table, but perhaps to redefine the table itself where you can be part of the change in who all get included in access to spaces and resources. Let's get in there and help redefine the table.

image 3
Disabled or not, ALL of us new Americans deserve to be, and get to be part of the possibility and opportunity that is America.image 4

image 4
Beyond the color of your skin, race, ethnicity and religion, there also exists a range of (dis)ability in New Americans, who face not just the challenges of assimilating themselves in a new country while maintaining their cultural identity, but also navigating unfamiliar systems around disability. It is triple stigma for not just the disabled new american, but families too, who are excluded by association (“courtesy stigma”), not just from the mainstream community but from their own immigrant community as well. We need not just understanding but also importantly, belonging for all.

PD Soros Fellow at Vanderbilt PhD Neuroscience

Can a person feel stunned+super excited AND nervous+disoriented all at the same time. 

It's a veritable sea of emotions swirling inside me. 

The news is rather surreal as I am in the final weeks of undergrad at Berkeley.

Two pieces of news actually.

I’m heading to a PhD Neuroscience at Vanderbilt in fall 2022.

# neuroscience #vanderbilt  #PhD  #Berkeley #Psychology

&

I join the prestigious ranks of the PD Soros Fellows, 2022.

@PDSoros

https://www.pdsoros.org/meet-the-fellows/hari-srinivasan

Who would have imagined this back in 7th grade middle school - special ed classroom where they still were teaching how to spell basic words like c-a-t. The school district had no intention of allowing me anywhere close to any sort of mainstream curriculum or a mainstream classroom. Their nod to mainstreaming was my being allowed to exist in the same school playground with non disabled kids at recess and lunch. Somehow we were expected to pick up skills, perhaps by osmosis, in that crazy noisy environment of screaming running kids

I lost count of the number of special ed classrooms I’ve been moved around during my elementary and middle school years - tossed from one unwilling special ed teacher to another. Imagine the psychological trauma inflicted on a very young child when educators, the ones who are supposed to support and nurture you, themselves don’t want you. Children don't get to attend their IEP meetings, but sometimes these meetings are held in the classroom after school with a classroom aide babysitting me at one end. I remember one such meeting with the special ed teacher loudly insisting I be moved out of her classroom. In kindergarten alone, I was moved 4 classrooms. 

I also remember being in this classroom for sometime in between which was simply called Room 20 at Dilworth Elementary, which was a placeholder for all the special ed kids the district didn’t know what to do with. So the day was mostly walks, story time, circle time - like kindergarten on Groundhog Day repeat day after day, even at age 10.  Anyway, by middle school I had been moved to a segregated special ed only school where I never got even that glimpse of any non disabled peers.

For much of my schooling years, education was like the candy in the candy store with me staring longingly at it through the store window.

It’s surreal, It’s like I’m now making up for all those years and years and years of sheer longing for education, years and years and years of missed education with compounded interest thrown in. It’s the sheer contrast of Room 20 to Berkeley. 

I am incredibly amazed at what quality education can look like at UC Berkeley. The experience gels perfectly with my inherent curiosity and thirst for knowledge; I am continually reflecting on what is taught in my classes and on its multidisciplinary applications. Berkeley is giving me an amazing experience academically with 4.0 GPA, Phi Beta Kappa, Psi Chi, my own research, research labs and also other opportunities like writing for the Daily Cal and teaching an Autism Class. (And yes, it ok to brag some, at times like this)

My 7th grade special ed did not lead to a high school diploma let alone college. Today I stand on the cusp of a PhD program. Just imagine me in a doctoral program! 

More than anything, it was really really really really really really really (can I add a few more "really's") a balm to the soul to hear PhD programs say they “wanted me” and that I was an unanimous selection by the departments.

(I think back on all the special education teachers who did not want me in their classrooms).

The PD Soros fellowship is this extra unexpected icing, a validation - that my life too has worth and I too can be a contributing member of society. That I am thought to be amongst those, “poised to make significant contributions to U.S. society, culture, or their academic field.”  That I too can rank amongst the best of the best.

Getting my picture in the New York Times, is kinda cool too.

The road ahead is still fraught with uncertainties and transitions and there will be many things to navigate and trouble shoot in the next few years of grad school. It is going to be a harder journey given all challenges around my motor apraxia, communication/ behavioral /sensory challenges & anxiety. Fingers crossed for continued patience and understanding from others around me. 

Today is a day to celebrate, to stop, admire and smell the roses of today. I don't think I am that flexible to actually reach my back so I will  give myself that imaginary pat on the back and say,

PD Soros Fellow @ Vanderbilt PhD Neuroscience from fall. Way to Go Hari!!

=================

News Coverage of Award (link)

Social Media

So nice of Dr Josh Gordon (NIMH Director) to announce news of Vanderbilt and PD Soros at the beginning of the IACC meeting. 

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I should frame this tweet as inspiration and aspiration. 

Words of praise from the legendary Judy Heumann. 

Thank you Judy for your words of praise. We all learn from you and strive to add those additional tiny pebbles that contribute to widening the ripples in the pond of change. 

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Tweet from Prof Allison Harvey, who taught my Treatment of Mental Illness class 

I was a research assistant in her Golden Bear Mood and Sleep clinic for 2 semesters.

Thank you Prof Harvey for your invaluable advice, support and encouragement during the grad school application process. 

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I made it the cover of Berkeley News

Made it to page 5 of the New York Times