Jolly St Nick

Jolly St. Nick comes flying on his reindeer drawn sleigh. He lands on the snow-laden roof, climbs down the chimney and lays out presents under the Christmas Tree, before he sets off again. It’s every child’s fantasy to catch Santa in the act of climbing down the chimney or the sight of him enjoying the milk and cookies laid out for him. Oh to see the lovely reindeer that pulled his magical sleigh! The anticipation of seeing the gifts appear magically under the tree on Xmas morning is almost too much to bear.


As a child I did believe in the existence of Santa Claus. It was a time when one's perception of the word was much more simple - where things were black and white, with no shades of gray. After all, Santa spent all year slogging it away with the elves at the North Pole, making toys. He was this really chubby guy with a jovial face and wore an attractive red suit. And he loved kids - he would grant you any wish you wanted. His address was just so simple - “Santa Claus, North Pole,” and the Post Office knew exactly where to send your wish list.


Ah, the bliss of childhood memories!


I was around 7 or 8 when I started thinking about the physics and economics of this phenomenon. Xmas day like any other day lasts exactly 24 hrs if you take the earth’s spin into account. In 24 hrs, he has to visit every home on earth – look at the exploding global population - currently at 6.7 billion. That’s a LOT of homes to cover in a small amount of time. For each home he has to fly there, land on its roof, climb down the chimney, leave presents under the tree, snack on the milk and cookies, climb up the chimney, and fly off.


Why did Santa need to snack on milk and cookies at every home anyway? No wonder he is so chubby! He probably has to be on a salad diet the rest of the year. Was he just tired from all the climbing, up and down the chimneys? Did the reindeer get snacks too for their hard work? Surely they were tired too!


His sleigh has to land on snowy, possibly icy roofs. How do the reindeer manage to not slip off the roof? The sleigh must have some terrific traction technology. And what happens where there are no slanting roofs - like in apartments blocks. There are no fireplaces in warmer countries either – how does he enter.  Was Santa just limited to snow bound parts of the world? And what happened to the kids with no X-mas trees - were they denied toys?


How did he manage with that suit of his? It’s warm and great for the Artic skies, but what did he do in the countries south of the Equator- in the midst of their summer at Xmas time? And how did the sleigh work in the desert and the plains?


To top it all, how on earth did he manage to fit all the toys (which took all year to make) into one red sack?


How did the lean figure of the Christian saint, Bishop Nicholas transform into the roly-poly red jolly figure we know today. The transformation started in the 1820s with an anonymous poem titled “Sante Claus.” Soon after, Santa Claus became an American phenomenon, with the publication of the poem “The Night before Christmas.” The image of the red figure with flying reindeer and elves was permanently sealed in our psyche.


There are however lots of $$$ at stake when Santa season is on. Malls are crowded and guys in red Santa suits are found everywhere. You pay for the privilege of sitting on his lap or even taking a photo with Santa. Kids make wish-lists for Santa and parents pay – a price to uphold notions of Santa’s existence. But can all parents necessarily afford to pay this price. Santa has unfortunately become the epitome of our society’s consumerism – pushing everything from coca colas to every other product at the malls and stores.


It was so much easier when memories of Santa were of the Jolly Red Guy, with a snowy beard, who just truly loved kids, with no other strings.


Cheers Santa!

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