Uniquely Hari

Tree Cup

Afternoon snack of Dosa with Muruga Sambar accompanied by Green Tea with Lemon and hOney in a cup that's shaped like a tree trunk.

Remote Instruction, International Edition

So I'm in India for a few weeks.

Remote Instruction, International Edition

Remote Instruction at the table your parent used during their schooling. No laptops back then!!

A Variety of Kozhukattai Experience

The tiffen scene in Chennai is quite interesting.

I had multiple varieties of kuzhutattai for breakfast. Kuzhukattais are traditionally steamed rice balls with sweet or spicy stuffing inside. They just got more creative. The white one is made with palm sago, there were ones made with Ragi (Millet) and also upma kuzhukattai.

A variety of spice and sweet Lip-smacking and finger-licking varieties.

Murunga's Three Feet Long

Freshly harvested Murunga Drumsticks (Moringa Olifera). Murunga's are loaded with good nutrients right from Vitamin C to antioxidants with many parts of the plant used in ayurveda meds. I've never seen a muruga drumstick this long before - its over 3 feet long. And these look fat and juicy too, when cooked.

I'm think I'm getting a yummy Murunga dish from Paati (grandma) tomorrow. Can't wait.

Competitive Cats

The cats at my grandma's place are seriously competitive. It saw me hugging grandma and demanded - as in meowing away loudly and pawing the rug and couch - to be be given room on the couch so it could get in on the love.

There are actually 2 cats here, one on each floor and each possessive about its territory. The downstairs one (Chinni) never goes up and vice versa for Feather. The upstairs cat is quite old and decides to meow away in the middle of the night for food.

And did I mention the visiting fellows. A couple of cats turn up at the backdoor several times a day and meow for food. My Paati promptly feeds them. These cats never venture inside else they face the wrath of the house cats.

They are too funny. LOL

Lifelong Learning

My Paati (grandma) likes languages and at 82 doing courses on conversational Sanskrit. Got distinction in her last exam too.

No cats competing for this Paati's attention. Lol

Healthy Idly's

Breakfast today was healthy Bajra Idly's

The Ubiquitous Masala Dosa

Evening tiffen was Masala Dosa with sambar and chutney served on a banana leaf

and filter "Kapi" (coffee) served in a tumbler and dabara (saucer)

April 15 - Tamil New Year
Happy Tamil New Year Everyone. Its the herald of spring.

My first Tamil New Year in Tamilnadu!!

An elaborate and delicious naivedyam lunch made by Paati (grandma) and Athai (aunt) with mor kuzhambu, kootu, 2 karamadhis, vadas, green mango pachadi, carrot payasum and more. Delicious and served on on a freshly harvested banana leaf from the garden.

It usually rains on Tamil New Year and the weather did not disappoint. Complete with Thunder. Rain is considered auspicious, means things will go well.

Where do the Autistic Crips Go?

In a few months, the California wildfires will be back.

We don't realize how much more disabling the climate change is for the disabled

Where Do the Autistic Crips Go?

I’m an autistic crip with sensory disabilities.

One of my many labels, too many to recount.

Crips are not priority when natural disaster strikes.

2005

... Katrina Disabled abandoned by caretakers

2018

...Paradise CampFire, more of the same.

We are ever the forgotten, not-accounted-for divergents.

September 2020,

...Bay Area Skies glowed red

Nuclear orange sky from countless wildfires.

Evacuations were abound even with Covid around.

It just was not safe to social distance at home.

An autistic crip, I will just call him Zee

Wildfires by his home, the air not fit to breathe.

He had legs to walk out, his was a different disability

But where would Zee go, evacuation is hardly easy

A shelter was not a place he could hang out.

Sensory sensitivities, food allergies, social anxiety, compromised immunity.

…. On top of sheer uncertainty.

Where oh, where can autistic crips go?

Shelters are planned for the non-crip mindbody

Smoked filled air, but my home not in path of fire

Zee came, stayed a few days with me.

It was not easy but it was better than a shelter.

Zee had a place to go for this round of emergency

The fires came close but his home did not catch fire.

He was able to go back to his own home eventually

But where did the other autistic crips go?

Where will I go if this happens to me?

Next year,

... the wildfires will be back.

Prepare and plan, says the authority?

Pack a bag with all that you need.

But...

How do you prepare for something like this?

How does one prepare sensory sensitivities and anxiety?

Remote Instruction International Edition

The Chennai Experience: Remote Instruction at the table your parent used during their schooling. No laptops back then!!

UN Panel for World Autism Day

I was on the panel for the United Nations observance of World Autism Day. Held on Apr 8 as Apr 2 coincided with Good Fricay. It is extra special to be on a UN Panel as my late grandpa used to work for the United Nations. This year the event focused on the right to employment with theme “Inclusion in the Workplace: Challenges and Opportunities in a Post-Pandemic World.”

When: April 8, 10-11am EST

Topic: Inclusion in the Workplace: Challenges and Opportunities in a Post-Pandemic World

Recording of Event at: https://youtu.be/diZhgcTBPgk

#UnitedNations #WorldAutismAwarenessDay2021

My responses from the event

CV: Hari, How has the pandemic affected you?

Hello world. My late grandpa was a UN executive, so it's really extra special to be on this U N Panel today.

The pandemic has presented both challenges and opportunities for many autistics like me.

Many autistics have a hard time with uncertainty and the pandemic has been like the ultimate uncertainty. There is also the disorientation due to the sense of a loss of time with each day of zoom meetings looking exactly the same.

Worldwide there has been a surge in mental health issues; the anxiety is compounded in autistics and often manifests as upticks in obsessive and repetitive behaviors, meltdowns, sleep disturbances etc.

On the flip side, while I miss the buzzing energy and life of campus, it's actually been a fantastic year for me, and I'm involved in so many projects and conferences now. For instance I just got selected as a Haas Scholar at UC Berkeley where I will be doing a year long research on autism.

Remote learning via zoom, has been ironically equalizing. In a large lecture class, everyone is on mute, even students who can talk. Control of the camera puts me in charge of the amount of atypical body mannerisms that others get to notice.

Remote work also reduces a lot of the anxieties around the constant societal need for physical social interactions, eye contact, and trying not to draw attention to my atypical mannerisms; all of which takes up extra mental effort and energy. So I’m actually able to get a lot more done now.

I also love that we are now able to seamlessly interact with people from around the world without the anxiety of travel. I did not think I would get to hear perspectives from Africa or Ireland like today for instance.

In the post pandemic world. I would love to see hybrid solutions for autistics so we get the advantages of both the remote and physical environments.

CV: Hari, Do you feel the pandemic has exposed discrimination against autistic individuals?

The pandemic exposed systemic flaws in societal attitudes. One is the lip service that was paid to accessibility in the pre pandemic world. For years the disability community has been asking for remote work or hybrid solutions as many faced access barriers in education and the workplace. We were told remote work was impossible. Yet it suddenly became possible overnight when there was a will for it. We can only hope that such benefits will continue in the post pandemic world with the virtual workplace the norm for many companies.

But we need to watch for a couple of issues. Who will decide who gets to work remotely and who does not?. Will the disabled community continue to be less protected?. And also that remote work will not result in greater isolation for the disabled community.

Some of us autistics benefited from zoom education but what has been troubling is that while regular education was able to transition to remote learning, hands on special education services abruptly stopped. Remote education or tele therapy did not work for many who need that physical one on one support and have other needs.

The disproportionate access to services meant that many autistics faced regression in skills that take time to build up like building independence in the community.

Adult autistics living in group residential settings were at higher risk for the spread of covid as well as medical rationing.

This is just a small list actually.

CV: And Hari, How do you think virtual job interviews during a pandemic affects autistic jobseekers??

Interviewers often form impressions of you in the first few minutes. Much as we would like to pretend otherwise, there is a certain societal expectation of the body language of a candidate. So I’m trying to gauge their mood, body language on top of worrying about my own atypical body mannerisms, eye contact and other sensory stimulation. There is a lot of mental and physical effort going into these extraneous things.

So virtual interviews could actually be a blessing in disguise. There is more control. A familiar physical space, the chair at the right height and you can position yourself and get comfortable well before the interview starts. Somehow the behavioral expectations are far less in the virtual world which means there is less mental effort. Virtual interviews are also more amenable to scripting which many autistics rely on. So I hope virtual interviews continue in the post pandemic world.

There is another thing I want to add on the topic of employment. It is disappointing that many diversity hiring initiatives by employers have only certain profiles of autistics in mind. We need to think about employment and accommodations for all autistics who want to work, irrespective of their communication levels and support needs. So that is why it's important that we start having these conversations not just in the US but around the world.

Tech rehearsal

I'm a Haas Scholar

I'm a Haas Scholar. Only 20 students are selected each year, so rather thrilled. Which means I get mentorship and funding to do my own independent research for a whole year. This will also be my senior honors research thesis for my Psychology Major.

The last few weeks have been spent in getting my Human Subjects Protocol approved by the Institutional Review Board, I'm glad it did not go beyond one round of revisions.

I can move onto my next phase of tightening up my design and then participant recruitment.

Project Description: https://hsp.berkeley.edu/scholars/hari-srinivasan/

More about the Program from hsp.berkeley.edu

"The Haas Scholars Program was founded in 1997 through the generous vision of Robert and Colleen Haas. Each year, twenty highly qualified, academically talented undergraduates... come together to build a supportive intellectual community during their final year at UC-Berkeley. Haas Scholars come from all walks of life and every major on campus, but they are united by their desire to strive for excellence–both in their individual academic pursuits, and as an interdisciplinary cohort...

Applicants are evaluated primarily on the merit and originality of their proposal for an independent research or creative project that will serve as the basis for a senior or honors thesis. Once selected, Haas Scholars receive close mentoring from members of the UC-Berkeley faculty, seminars and workshops to assist them in the research and writing process, the opportunity to present their work at a professional conference...

Haas Scholar alumni have gone on to become leaders in their respective fields, including academia, medicine, law, industry, the arts, and public service."

Banana Leaf Lunching

Warm delicious Paati samayal (grandma's cooking) on a freshly cut banana leaf from the garden.

Eating traditional style on an organic, eco-friendly, biodegradable plate with extra nutrition thrown in.

Extra nutrition? Polyphenols (think micronutrients in plant based foods packed with antioxidants) in the banana leaves get stimulated from the warmth of the food and get absorbed into the food along with Ascorbic Acid, Citric Acid, Ca and Carotene in Banana Leaves.

Can I get a banana leaf every meal?

Eating with fingers? Its a natural exercise and builds dexterity for the fingers and the hand (kind of useful for someone like me actually with poor fine motor skills). It's slows down eating and brings about greater awareness of texture and taste, a.k.a mindful eating.

And isn't seeking sensory experiences an autistic thing? LOL Using silverware actually lends to faster eating.

Faster eating is linked to Type 2 Diabetics. Silverware actually lends to faster eating.

Ayurveda says nerve endings on the fingers stimulate digestion and improves blood circulation. Incorporating the five elements represented by the fingers - starting with thumb - space, air, fire, water, earth - is holistic eating. Somehow the Colonial legacy has meant that such indigenous cultural practices were frowned upon. That such things were "inferior" and made you "less than"

This sound familiar? - that the disabled mind-body is somehow "less than"

Image Description: Young male of South Indian origin eating food served on banana leaf. Also seated at the dining table is his grandpa with his grandma serving them food.

#PaatiSamayal #GrandmaCooking #EatingOnBananaLeaf

Boundaries

Lady Liberty beckons

All to gaze at the wall in Nogales

brave hidden water in the blazing sands.

Nature weaponized!!

Boundaries

Arbitrary line drawn in world geography

Geomorphology gone extinct

Political land redistricting 1848

Human and nonhuman alike

Othering

.. the BIPOC body

...the disabled body

...nonhuman bodies when it suits power needs.

Nature exploited for supremacy

Categorize and disconnect.

Who decides?

Who gets Agency?

Binary, privilege v. pain.

The migrant body, a physical wall

The disabled body, a societal wall

Ever at edge of resources and land

Land is belonging and body

Deemed purposeless, cast aside

Inaccessibility, the ultimate price

Periphery.

(written during one my Disability Studies courses @UC Berkeley)

Nungu Time

Chewing into delicious water-filled Nungu's

Nungu in Tamil, the Palmyra palm fruit is a wonderful dehydrater for the 99F heat of Chennai, packed with Vit A, B7, C, K, Fe, Na and minerals.

I have absolutely no idea why the Brits wanted to call a Palm fruit as Ice Apple. This is not a fruit I would associate with an "Apple" on any level.

Research on Accessibility

Attention: Students/ Faculty/Alumnus of Berkeley who identifies as a disabled person

Our unique makerspace Disability Lab is doing a research project on accessibility.

If you are interested in participating, please contact
everett_wool@berkeley.edu or (818) 450-6743

www.disabilitylab.berkeley.edu

Centenarian Plus

Still comfortable after a century.

Sitting on a centenarian spinning wood chair, from 1920 - belonged to my great grandpa, Sadagopan Iyengar.

From 1920 to 2021 - that's centenarian plus

Triple Bind and Masking in Autistic Females

The concept of the "Triple Bind," as discussed by Stephen Hinshaw, poses a multifaceted challenge for women, requiring them to navigate a complex labyrinth of societal expectations. Hinshaw's framework suggests that women are pressured to excel in traditionally male-dominated arenas, asserting themselves competitively and ambitiously. Concurrently, they are expected to embody the nurturing, demure qualities historically associated with femininity. Adding a third layer, women are also pressured to adhere to stringent standards of attractiveness and sexuality (Hinshaw, 2009). This triadic set of expectations creates a near-impossible standard for women to live up to, encapsulating the pervasive societal pressures that contribute to stress, anxiety, and a multitude of other psychological burdens.

For autistic females, these societal pressures are compounded through the phenomenon of masking or camouflaging. Masking refers to the efforts individuals on the spectrum make, either consciously or unconsciously, to conceal their autistic traits and adhere to neurotypical norms. This can involve mimicking social interactions, suppressing stimming (self-stimulatory behaviors), or forcing oneself to maintain eye contact during conversations (Hull et al., 2017). Autistic women, therefore, must navigate not only the stringent expectations laid out by the Triple Bind but also the added layer of disguising their neurodivergence to blend into a world that predominantly values neurotypical behaviors.

The practice of masking, while a means to facilitate social integration, exacts a significant psychological toll. It can lead to feelings of alienation, increased susceptibility to mental health issues, and the exhaustion that comes from the perpetual performance of neurotypicality (Lai et al., 2011). For women, who are already disproportionately affected by the Triple Bind, the requirement to mask autistic traits intensifies their burden, magnifying the challenges they face in their daily lives.

Exploring the intersection of the Triple Bind and masking through the lens of Critical Disability studies and Crip Theory offers profound insights. These academic disciplines critique societal norms that marginalize those with disabilities, advocating for a broader, more inclusive definition of normalcy. They emphasize the value of diversity and challenge the structures that define disability as a deviation from an arbitrary norm (Goodley, 2014). Queer Theory, in particular, enriches this analysis by highlighting how gender and sexuality norms intersect with disability, further complicating the social experiences of autistic women who may also identify as LGBTQ. By examining the experiences of autistic women in the context of these theories, we can uncover the systemic barriers that perpetuate exclusion and advocate for a society that celebrates rather than stigmatizes difference. We can challenge and dismantle the societal constructs that marginalize those who diverge from the so-called norm, paving the way for a more equitable and understanding world.

References

Goodley, D. (2014). Dis/ability studies: Theorising disablism and ableism. Routledge.
Hinshaw, S. (2009). The triple bind: Saving our teenage girls from today's pressures. Ballantine Books.
Hull, L., Petrides, K. V., Allison, C., Smith, P., Baron-Cohen, S., Lai, M.-C., & Mandy, W. (2017). "Putting on My Best Normal": Social Camouflaging in Adults with Autism Spectrum Conditions. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 47(8), 2519–2534.
Lai, M.-C., Lombardo, M. V., Pasco, G., Ruigrok, A. N. V., Wheelwright, S. J., Sadek, S. A., ... & Baron-Cohen, S. (2011). A behavioral comparison of male and female adults with high functioning autism spectrum conditions. PLOS ONE, 12(6), e0177835.